Yo-Ho, Yo-Ho, An Ashikabi's Life for Me
by Quatermass
Summary: (Harem! 03, 07, 02 and more!) It's a funny business, reincarnation. Here I am, Captain Jack Sparrow, reincarnated as Minato Sahashi. And after coming back to Shinto Teito after some time abroad, I find myself getting a new crew, only, they're comely alien wenches with superpowers. Oh, and I'm now in a lethal tournament between said women run by a madman who may be my father. Savvy?
1. Foreword

**FOREWORD**

One thing I try to do with my fanfics on occasion is break new ground with crossovers that haven't been done before. Sometimes, like with _Light the Blue Touch Paper and Run Like Hell_ , the first marked crossover between _Fate/Stay Night_ and _Thor_ (well, _Fate/Zero_ and _Thor_ ), it can be a runaway success. And other times, well, they sink, because after the initial inspiration, they don't go anywhere. I hope this story falls firmly into the former category.

This isn't my first reincarnation fic, nor the first to break new ground in the crossover department, as I have done a _Final Fantasy IX/Highschool DxD_ crossover called _Black Mage of Kuoh_ , where Vivi is reincarnated as Issei Hyoudou. I actually considered doing the same thing here, with Vivi, as well as his magic, being reincarnated as Minato Sahashi from _Sekirei_. But then, an odd moment of inspiration struck as they sometimes do. I thought, why not Captain Jack Sparrow?

While I enjoyed watching the _Pirates of the Caribbean_ films, I haven't really thought about doing any fanfic for them. I couldn't really think of anything to truly cross them over with, not without being too contrived. But then, I had that moment of inspiration, and this is the result. True, as I write this foreword, I haven't watched the anime or read the manga. But I intend to remedy that once I get the Blu-Ray of the first series. I'll need it for later chapters, once the point where Musubi comes onto the scene.

Anyway, time for the usual disclaimers. Firstly, there will be spoilers for both _Pirates of the Caribbean_ and _Sekirei_. This includes spoilers for _Dead Men Tell No Tales_.

Secondly, there will be heavy annotations, as is usual for my works. You have been warned.

Thirdly, this is an M-Rated work. There will be coarse language, violence, dark themes and sexual references. Again, you have been warned.

Finally, the following is a fan-written work. _Pirates of the Caribbean_ and _Sekirei_ are the properties of their respective owners. Please support the official release. Otherwise, Davy Jones will…UNLEASH THE KRAKEN!


	2. Chapter 1: A Sparrow and a Wagtail

**CHAPTER 1:**

 **A SPARROW AND A WAGTAIL**

It was like something right out of Tartarus. The purple-haired wench in the traditional Japanese dress was giving me the sweetest smile, despite the fact that she was exuding an aura of dread and malice that would make even the most staunch of sailors rush for the head for a latrine break. This wasn't helped by the fact that I could see a rather ugly-looking demonic mask, a _Hannya_ , peeking out from behind her. I had to wonder, was this an illusion created by magic or something? As if I hadn't seen enough for two lifetimes, conveniently how many I had lived. The rather buxom lass beside me was trembling, ever so slightly, under the onslaught, while our would-be tormentor said, rather sweetly, "Lewd acts are not permitted within Maison Izumo."

Now, as scary as this woman was, I have to admit, her little aura was doing little to me. So I merely drawled, "Mrs Asama, I have chased around an undead monkey, I have flirted with the goddess of the sea, and I have had a chimaera of a psychopomp want to rape my face with his tentacle beard. Your little demon mask thing only rates a three out of ten, and that's being generous."

Ah, words. Such an underrated weapon, even in this day and age of technology. You can tailor them to your own ends. Sometimes, they can be as sharp as a scalpel. Sometimes, they can be a spur like a whip. And sometimes, they are like a cosh that makes people look bemused and spout funny things while their brain reboots.

Certainly, my words have an effect on Mrs Miya Asama, landlady, prude, and Sekirei Number 01. The mask went away, along with the aura, and she just stares at me incredulously as if I had gone mad. Truth be told, I don't know myself anymore. I know I've gone mad before, and sometimes, my plans and actions straddle that border between madness and genius.

The brunette in the jeans and pink shirt with a gold star on it, watching the byplay, said, "Big. Brass. Bowling balls." Her voice was in awe, as if her new god had come amongst them. And I have to admit, it was flattering…

* * *

So, allow me to introduce myself. I am…well, _was_ Captain Jack Sparrow. Look in a half-decent book about pirates, and chances are, you'll find me there. Though there aren't as many books that feature me, let alone in any substantial way, than I would like. Well, at least until I got a second chance at life.

I wasn't really a religious man in my original life, and I can't say that I'm one now. Somehow, though, I managed to luck out on the old wheel of fortune, and got a second life, nearly three centuries hence after my demise. How said demise came about, I can't say. After a certain point in my life, after dealing with that sore loser of a Spanish pirate hunter, my memories of my old life become a bit fuzzy, and the history books are quiet about that too. I hope that I died, drunk, happy and old in the arms of a beautiful, buxom young woman, preferably not at her hands. Knowing my rather mercurial luck, I probably ended up getting hanged by the Navy, or killed by an old rival I had pissed off, or tripped over that damned monkey with my name and broke my neck tumbling down into the hold of the _Black Pearl_.

Anyway, years later, I was reborn. Now, I didn't have all my memories straight away. At first, all I had were dreams and nightmares. It wasn't until I got into a fight at school that, thanks to a rather hard punch and the subsequent concussion, I regained them all.

Now, my name isn't Jack Sparrow anymore. Hell, I'm not even of English extraction. Now I'm Japanese. Minato Sahashi, at your service. Internationally-acclaimed author of the _Jack Sparrow_ novels, albeit under the pseudonym of Jack Teague. After myself, my father, and my uncle. From my previous life, anyway. My mother, in this life, was somewhat disappointed in me for pursuing the life of a novelist shortly before the end of high school instead of going to university, but five bestselling novels managed to net me a half-decent income. Based all on the misadventures of yours truly, in his previous life. Okay, they weren't exactly critically-acclaimed novels, but the public loved them.

I then decided to take a bit of a sabbatical away from Tokyo, only, when I came back, it was renamed 'Shinto Teito'. I took a nice little trip around the world, mostly to some of my old haunting grounds in the Caribbean. I wondered whether anyone I knew from my past life were still hanging around? Well, the supernatural ones, anyway.

As it happened, Calypso had decided to take on the form of Tia Dalma once more. We met, we caught up a little, she slapped me for causing the death of Davy Jones (though I put the knife in Will Turner's hand to save his life), we shared a few laughs and tears, we shared a bed for a night or two, and then we parted ways. Though not before she warned me that a Flock of Wagtails would be coming my way ere long, and gave me my old compass (that the customs officials here took umbrage with).

Anyway, after my little trip, I made my way back home. I was already more or less aware that Shinto Teito had been all but bought up by the company Mid-Bio Industries and its CEO, Hiroto Minaka. Crazy wanker, but he had quite a bit of style, even if that style was looking like some cheesy mad scientist character from an anime, and he looked vaguely familiar. Me, well, I decided not to go back to the Hat, save for in private or in the Caribbean, but the coat, I tried to emulate, as much as I could with modern fashion. I actually enjoyed the new invention of sunglasses, finding it more stylish than kohl.

Now, while I booked myself into a decent hotel, I knew I needed to find somewhere to live. As much as I enjoyed a touch of luxury, I was used to far harsher quarters than a six-mat apartment. A prison cell in Port Royal, or the endless desert of Davy Jones' Locker, sprang immediately to mind.

As I bustled around my room, my phone rang, and I answered it with a sigh. "Hello?"

" _Hello, Minato. Are you back safely?_ "

Ah, yes, the tones of my dearest mother. In this life, anyway. She was pretty distant and domineering, to tell the truth, but Dr Takami Sahashi was a decent enough mother. Not that accepting of my career as a novelist, but as I now had an income, I didn't have to care. And she did support it as a hobby, just not as a career. I had since learned that she worked for MBI. "Pretty much. Some idiot in customs decided to grope me while patting me down, Customs objected to a gift I was given by a woman I met in the Caribbean, and I saw your boss on the TV. I have to ask, did someone drop him on his head as a child?"

" _I ask myself the same question every day, Minato. Are you okay?_ "

"Of course I am. I'm Captain Jack Sparrow." It was my running gag. I used to annoy her so much by claiming to be my previous life. It still got an annoyed scoff even now. A bit more seriously, I said, "I'm fine, Mum. I met a well-wisher in the Caribbean, a fortune-teller. Dressed up in Tia Dalma cosplay, though." I then frowned, remembering an incident from earlier today. "Actually, now that I come to mention it, is there a convention or something in town?"

" _Why do you ask?_ " She may have kept her voice calm, but I could tell her interest had sharpened.

"Well, I saw a couple of women in what looked like cosplay, doing parkour." It had been while I was at some café. I had seen two young women running on the rooftops nearby. They were dressed in what looked like black kimonos. One had pink hair and was not exactly endowed in the old chest department, while the other's kimono was loose and ragged, showing off a body wrapped in bandages. Oh, and she was wielding claws that would make Wolverine jealous, and with short silvery hair.

" _I see. It's part of an MBI event. I'd suggest staying away from them if possible_ ," my mother replied. Her words seemed to indicate that she knew far more than she was telling. " _They're trouble._ "

 _Trouble tends to dog my steps wherever I go_ , I thought, but out loud, I said, "Will do. Incidentally, do you have any idea of a place I can rent a room or something?"

After a moment, she said, " _There's a place in the north of the city. Maison Izumo. It's run by the widow of one of my late colleagues. Her name is Miya Asama. The rent is cheap, but I have heard she is somewhat strict. She might not tolerate your outlandish behaviour._ "

"Got it. Though maybe she might stand to loosen up a little, rather like you. When was the last time you got laid?"

Bullseye. I couldn't help but enjoy trolling my mother sometimes, and she growled out, " _Since I conceived Yukari._ " Then, she hung up.

Outlandish behaviour? Me? Why not?

* * *

Being a connoisseur of many kinds of bar and many kinds of alcohol, I have to say, I think more than a little soul has gone out of the making of spirits. Still, I retained a taste for rum from my previous life, and got into trouble more than once for managing to obtain some under my mother's nose. And the hotel's bar had enough variety of drink that I could get a brand of rum I particularly enjoyed. So, after dinner, I decided to patronise the bar.

As I drank from my glass, I soon found myself with someone sitting next to me. I glanced at them briefly, only to have my gaze return to my new drinking buddy. My brain soon had a Blue Screen of Hummina Hummina Hummina, as I gawped at the paragon of beauty right next to me.

Now, in this life, I was still actually a virgin, until a recent one-night stand with the notoriously capricious goddess of the ocean, anyway. But even then, I was no stranger to the various delights of the female form. After all, I had something of a long list of women (and men: it does get somewhat lonely on long voyages, after all(1)) whom I have had relations with. Many of whom wanted to slap me. Anamaria sprang to mind, as did Scarlett and Giselle of Tortuga. I mentioned Tia Dalma, aka Calypso. I had a thing for Elizabeth Swann, until she became Elizabeth Turner. And there was that whole business with Angelica, who turned out to be the daughter of Edward Teach, and wasn't that a fine old mess?

Anyway, this woman was definitely in the Top 5 already. She was dressed in this purple dress whose hemline was dangerously close to her modesty, vaguely Chinese-looking, with bits cut out to accentuate her cleavage and show off her navel. Her regally beautiful features had an easygoing smile on them, framed by dark hair pulled back in a long ponytail. Oh, and did I mention she was VERY buxom? And given the way her dress had bits cut out, that she probably wasn't wearing a bra?

I decided to look away for the moment. As much as I could turn on the ol' Captain Jack charm, it's generally better to let the ladies come to you in these days of sexual harassment. So I waited for her to make the next move.

Sure enough, she said, "And what's a sweet guy like you doing, drinking rum in a place like this?"

"Well, as a guest and a connoisseur of rum, I thought it would be such a waste if I didn't give it a try." I glanced at her glass, which the bartender was pouring. Sake, apparently, was her poison of choice. Big surprise, considering we were in Japan. "Out of all the people you could sit next to, you sat next to me."

"Surprised?" she asked.

"Curious. You're a beautiful woman, to say the very least. Makes a guy like me feel a touch unworthy to be in your presence." I then flinched. Maybe I was laying it on a bit thick. I'd tried to cut back on the swagger a little, given how much some people stared at me.

Luckily, she didn't take offence. She chuckled. "I just chose to sit next to you. Sometimes I just want a drinking buddy to talk to."

"I guess so," I said, before deciding to introduce myself. "Minato Sahashi."

She blinked at the name, apparently in recognition, before she said, "Kazehana."

"Sorry, do you know my name?"

"No, I thought I knew someone with your name, but I didn't think you'd be related to them," she said, waving off my question.

"Ah."

* * *

The evening went fairly well from there. We eventually got to talking. While using a pseudonym was meant to give me a little privacy at my young age, I did let slip that I had written the _Jack Sparrow_ books, which Kazehana apparently loved. She was surprised I had managed to write them while in my last years of high school. Well, the first few, anyway. She gushed over how much she loved Jack Sparrow and Will Turner, loved the swashbuckling and fantasy. I think the alcohol was making her a little more effusive than she would have been, but I didn't really mind.

She, however, was lamenting the fact that a man she had fallen in love with had spurned him for another woman. A rather shrewish woman, by her accounts. Well, she didn't exactly lament in an over-the-top melodramatic wailing and gnashing of the teeth, it was more of a catharsis that was relatively calm, but belied a depression underneath.

Thankfully, I was there to allow her to have a shoulder to lean on. Nothing more unless she really wanted it: I didn't want to take advantage of a drunken woman, after all, and while she wasn't exactly plastered (she certainly could hold her liquor, more than a few pirates I had known), bedding a consenting woman who is sober tends to have better consequences. I noticed, however, that as the evening went on, she began to become, well, flushed. Blushing heavily, breathing hard, and I had to admit, she hadn't drunk quite that much.

Eventually, she asked that I bring her to my room. I had to admit to some small trepidation. My books were fairly famous, after all, and I had made the mistake of admitting my identity to at least one girlfriend who became what we call in Japan a _yandere_ of the highest order. You know, a stalker with no sense of morality, sanity or personal space.

Now, I was torn between anticipating bedding her, and having some anxiety, and not just because of the whole paranoid fear of her being a _yandere_. After all, we were drunk, and we could do something that either of us regretted. Then again, _Carpe diem_ , as the Romans said. Or, as the current generation say, YOLO.

However, when we reached my room, she actually seemed to stop, and gather herself. Hell, she somehow seemed to sober up. Handy trick. She then said, "Minato…what I'm about to do will change your life…and my life forever. I can't tell you everything yet, but…I want you to kiss me. And then, all will be revealed."

I looked her up and down. Even to my alcohol-befuddled mind, I had to wonder, what could possibly be so bad?

I should have known better. I had spent one lifetime getting into all sorts of scrapes. And more than a few were catalysed with kissing. But, well, I decided to take the plunge.

I came forward, embraced Kazehana, and kissed her on the lips. Her mouth tasted cool, and even vaguely floral. But through my closed eyelids, I saw some sort of glow. I opened my eyes, startled, and found what looked to be ethereal wings of pink light emanating from her back. Then, as we broke off our kiss, she said, solemnly but happily, "Kazehana, Sekirei Number 03 is yours, Minato Sahashi. May my wind be at your back, now and forever…"

I stared as those wings of light faded. _Bugger_ , I thought to myself. _It seems that I'm about to go on an adventure again_ …

 **CHAPTER 1 ANNOTATIONS:**

 **So, how did you like that? I hope it turned out all right.**

 **Now, I've done a bit of research, and Kazehana actually waits for considerable time in canon before having Minato Wing her, even after they meet for the first time. I thought the reason she does so here a little more quickly is partly due to Minato's different personality, which, combined with him having traits of Captain Jack Sparrow, probably made her react somewhat quicker.**

 **Incidentally, in this universe, the films haven't been made. However, Disney is considering making them by the time these events occur…**

 **1\. Johnny Depp has apparently confirmed this in interviews, that Captain Jack is actually bisexual, his reasoning being that given above in the story.**


	3. Chapter 2: Fanboy and Wind Woman

**CHAPTER 2:**

 **FANBOY AND WIND WOMAN**

After I was actually given an explanation by Kazehana, I contemplated things for a moment. Now Tia Dalma's obscure warning made sense, given that 'Sekirei' was Japanese for 'Wagtail'. "So, let me get this straight. You're an alien from outer space with superpowers, and by snogging me, you've initiated a magical bond between us that basically means marriage by your terms. Oh, and I've got to participate in some city-wide battle royale for some unknown prize, headed by MBI. Have I got the pertinent details down?"

Kazehana nodded. "You're taking this well," she noted, as I swaggered (well, more staggered) over to the minibar.

"The way I see it, I've either drunk too much, or too little. I am going to assume the latter and remedy that forthwith." I scowled when I noticed a distinct lack of rum in the minibar, and I knew there was at least one bottle there. "Oh, why is the rum always gone?"

Silently, Kazehana indicated an empty bottle just above me on a shelf. "Ah, that's why," I said in realisation.

"You act very like the character you write," Kazehana observed, raising an eyebrow.

"Is that a good thing or a bad thing?" I slurred slightly.

"Hmm…I don't know," she said with a flirtatious smile. But when a TV nearby flickered into life, she scowled. "Oh, _no_."

"What?" I looked around for the remote, and found it was still near the bed, nowhere near us.

But before I could rectify this, I heard a loud, plummy voice, boom out, " _AVAST ME HEARTIES! SHIVER ME TIMBERS! YO HO HO, AND A BOTTLE OF RUM!_ "

I stared at the screen. And stared. And stared. A man was on the screen, in cosplay as me in my former life, except he didn't have any facial hair or braids, just glasses and a shock of white hair. I noticed Kazehana turning away in annoyance. Then, I said the only sane and reasonable thing that came to mind. "…What."

" _Ah! It's a pleasure to see you at last, Minato Sahashi, aka Jack Teague, elusive author of the_ Jack Sparrow _books! I have to say, big fan. Love those books. I'd buy the film rights, but Disney's trying to outbid me_ ," the man said.

I blinked, trying to place him. He looked familiar. Had I threatened him before? No, that was Will Turner, and I had recognised him because of his father. I snapped my fingers in recognition. "Hiroto Minaka!" I said. "Head of MBI and would-be mad scientist! Huh. Now I know I have drunken too much. Why the hell can you talk to me via a TV?"

" _Because there's a nano-camera implanted in all MBI-brand TVs!_ " Minaka said. " _Anyway, I've called to discuss the particulars of the Sekirei Plan!_ "

"Thanks but no thanks, mate. The lovely Kazehana already told me."

" _Oh? Well, the thing is, you need to keep it a secret, or else MBI will come to get you! So, no naughty tongue-wagging. Oh, and you can't leave the city, otherwise…WE UNLEASH THE KRAKEN!_ "

I blinked at his hamminess, before turning to Kazehana, who said, "Actually, they fire death beams from satellites."

"Bugger," I muttered, with considerable understatement. At least you could see the Kraken coming, most of the time.

" _That's right! But, well, I'm sure you won't mind!_ " Minaka crowed. " _You get to compete in a game, a grand game that will usher in a new age of the gods!_ " He then cackled. Did he spend time actually practising a mad scientist's laugh? He had it down pat.

" _Anyway, I hope you enjoy yourself with your Ashikabi, Number 03!_ " Minaka said. " _You get a nice consolation prize, at least, Kazehana!_ "

Kazehana looked tempted to unleash her powers on the TV (which she had already told me involved wind and blasts of air…and not of the kind that comes from one's fundament), and I realised what Minaka meant. "You're his ex? My condolences."

"Yeah. Minaka, just stop this already. I'll explain everything else, okay?"

Minaka pouted. " _Fine, fine, spoil my fun, why don't you? Oh, and could you come along to MBI HQ later, Minato? Only, I have the first editions of the books, and I really want them signed._ "

"As long as it's not in blood, fine. Anything for a fan," I drawled.

" _Oh believe me, I wouldn't dare stain my precious collectables with blood! Number 104, though, might be another matter. Anyway, HOIST THE MAINSAIL, AND CAST OFF, YE LANDLUBBERS!_ " And with that, the TV cut off.

"Huh. That just happened," I muttered. "Now, umm, Kazehana…" I blinked. "Wait, do you have a last name? Or a first name?"

"Just Kazehana."

"Good to know. Now, I hope you're not disappointed, but I believe I'm going to go to bed shortly. Hopefully, when I wake up, I'll be better able to tell how much of this was a figment of my inebriated imagination. Do you mind?"

She looked a bit disappointed as I staggered towards the bed, but nodded. "Good to know," I slurred, before I collapsed. I was snoring before I hit the mattress.

* * *

Now, I'm no stranger to the dubious delights of hangovers. So, even in this life, I managed to shake off the aftereffects of my drinking fairly quickly, save for a rather persistent headache. And then, I realised I was in something of a predicament. I was still in my trousers and a rumpled shirt. Kazehana, however, most evidently was not. That is, she was naked, and curled up next to me, her arms clasping over my own, and trapping it between her very bountiful breasts.

Well, nature called, as did a paracetamol capsule. So I managed to free myself with a slight effort (removing one's self from bed discreetly was a skill I had picked up from hard experience), and snuck into the bathroom. After relieving myself and then getting the headache capsule, I felt a little better already. So, part of the surreal memories I had from yesterday were real. I had woken up in bed next to Kazehana.

As I gargled some water from the sink, I tried to take stock. I would have sneered at the possibility of aliens, but to tell the truth, the memories of my past life were far stranger. I had fought the undead, including my own treacherous crew and the ghosts of Salazar and his crew, I had faced down Davy Jones, Calypso, and Blackbeard, and I've held artifacts in my hands the like of which the world hasn't seen before or since. I still had one even now, my old compass. More for sentiment than anything else, really.

Compared to that, super-powered alien women who bonded to you through a kiss wasn't that hard to swallow. I just wanted to make sure.

Oh, and speak of the devil and she's at your shoulder. Draping her arms over my shoulders, and pressing those very large breasts into my back. "Ahoy there, captain," she purred in a very lascivious manner. "A fair wind has just blown your way."

"Flurgen," I said. Probably the only coherent noise I could make.

"Is that nautical slang?"

"No, just a general incoherent noise," I said, a little muzzily. "Excuse me, can I kiss you again?"

Her smile widened. Oh, that would make Cutler Beckett orgasm, that smile, and he's practically a eunuch. Well, he was rather literally after he branded me(1).

Gah. Focus. I swivelled around, and kissed her. Once more, I tasted that lovely mouth of hers. Only this time, I felt the faint tang of sea salt mixed in. Thank goodness I gargled out my mouth in the sink, or goodness knew what she would be tasting. And yep, ethereal wings of light appeared, sprouting from her back. After we finished, I frowned. "So, not drunken hallucinations?"

She snorted. "I don't think you've drunk enough to have those." She turned on her heel, presenting her back to me, and gently pulled her hair out of the way. It took me a second to realise she wanted to show something other than her callipygian rear. Namely, a brand between her shoulders, an emblem showing a bird in flight over a _taijitu_ or yin-yang symbol.

"Nice tattoo. Did you get drunk when you got that one?" That had happened to me in my past life more times than I cared to remember. In fact, the bird in flight reminded me of the one I had of a sparrow on my arm, something I got not so long ago in this life.

"Yes, as I got it last night when you Winged me," Kazehana said with a laugh. "This is our symbol of having been Winged. It's also our weak point."

"Good to know. Now, why have you got numbers. I mean, that seems like something out of _The Prisoner_ , right?" On her confused look, I explained, hastily, "Weird British show about a man imprisoned in a remote village, the guard dog was a weather balloon, strange shit happens…"

"Clearly. I am Number 03. There are 108 Sekirei, though one, I believe, is dead. I don't know the exact circumstances. To my knowledge, they have been released all over the city. That being said, there's a few you should look out for."

"How about we discuss this over a working breakfast?" I asked. "After a shower?"

"For two?" she purred. And, hoo boy, my libido kicked into overdrive then…

* * *

Showering was, I had to admit, very pleasant. No full-on sex, but quite a bit of cleaning and mutual pleasure. Stayed in there for the best part of half an hour, before dressing and calling room service.

After it was brought in, and we started eating, Kazehana said, "So, first things first. Single Numbers like myself are, generally, the most powerful Sekirei. Of course, there are exceptions to the rule. Of those Single Numbers, one is dead, another is on the run, and yet another is, according to rumour, has become a 'Scrapped Number'. In other words, thanks to her fool of an adjuster, she had self-Winged."

"Adjuster?"

"MBI scientists adjusted our physiology so that we can interact with humans without harming them. Not unless we actually consciously wish to," Kazehana said. "As for self-Winging…well, it prevents them from being Winged, ever. It's like being lobotomised. Being unable to fall in love, ever again."

Well, that did sound rather cruel. "Can you tell me any other details?"

She nodded. "I can't tell you about Number 01 for various reasons. Number 02, Matsu, is one of the few brain-type Sekirei. That means her powers are not with physical force or elemental ability, but with her mind. She can interface with technology and computer systems. She's also, frankly, a bit of a pervert. She's the one who's on the lam."

"On the lamb? Is she like lonely sailors on merchant ships with livestock(2)?"

"No. And damn you for putting a mental image like that into my head," Kazehana scowled. We were talking in English for the moment, for the sake of practise. Many Sekirei were apparently taught English and Chinese alongside Japanese. "Anyway, Number 04, Karasuba…you should avoid. She is bloodthirsty and psychopathic, to say the least, and she's a skilled swordswoman. Number 05 is Mutsu, a swordsman and with an Earth elemental affinity. Number 06 is Homura, with a Fire affinity. Number 07 is Akitsu, the Scrapped Number I mentioned. Number 08 is Yume, the Sekirei I mentioned who perished. Number 09 is Tsukiumi, excellent at using water to attack, but she's a misandrist thanks to her adjuster. Plus, she speaks in an old-fashioned way."

"Hmm. Any others?"

"Not any that spring immediately to mind, as it's been some time since I was at MBI," Kazehana said. "I do know that there's a few Ashikabi who have established territories in the city. Higa and Mikogami are the ones you have to look out for. Mikogami treats the Sekirei Plan like a game, and Sekirei like collectable figurines. But he's more of a spoilt brat more than anything. Izuma Higa is another matter entirely. He's the heir to a company that is one of MBI's rivals, and he's got a chip on his shoulder. I heard he does quite a few dirty deals. He's rather like Cutler Beckett in your novels."

 _Oh joy_ , I thought. _Another eunuch with a flair for treachery and inhumanity_.

"I've also run into the Sekirei of an Ashikabi called Kaoru Seo. He makes it his mission to target Unwinged Sekirei to, supposedly, spare them the horrors of the Sekirei Game. His Sekirei know better than to mess with me now. 11 and 12, the Thunder Twins Hikari and Hibiki. You'll know them if you see dark-haired twins in what looks like BDSM outfits," Kazehana said.

I contemplated that for a moment. Then, to dispel the admittedly attractive image of twin girls in kinky dress, I decided to change the subject. "Well, I think for the time being, I will get some accommodation. This hotel was mostly temporary, and I want something a little more long-term, savvy? My mother recommended a place in the north owned by someone called Miya Asama."

I couldn't miss that startled reaction going across her face, which was odd, as I wasn't exactly intending anything like that. "Did you say Miya Asama?" she asked.

"You know her?"

"I sometimes get some drinks off her. She and I are friends." And judging by the way she said it, she was friends in the same way as I had been friends with the Turners, or Tia Dalma. With the possibility of danger getting involved, along with mutual oars to the noggin.

"Oh, that's right. My mother told me she was the widow of a researcher at MBI. Small world, eh?"

"Very small," Kazehana said.

As we continued to eat our breakfast, a thought occurred to me. "Actually, yesterday, I saw a pair of women on the rooftops. Both dressed in black. One had pink hair, the other had silver hair and wielded massive claws. I thought them cosplayers, but were they Sekirei?"

Kazehana nodded. "I mentioned Karasuba. She is the head of the Discipline Squad. Nominally, that is meant to protect Sekirei, but in truth, they are more Minaka's enforcers. I used to be on the original Discipline Squad, while we were protecting our people from foreign attackers. I do know those Sekirei, as I encountered them once. 104 and 105, Haihane and Benitsubasa. Haihane was the one with the claws. She's a bit lazy and clumsy, but she's lethal. Benitsubasa was the pink-haired one. Good fighter, but bad-tempered. I think she has a complex over her lack of a bust. Anyway, you sure you want to room at Maison Izumo?"

"Sure. Why?"

Kazehana shrugged. "Okay, your funeral. Just remember, Miya is pretty scary…"

* * *

It was a few hours later, and I had come with Kazehana to Maison Izumo, a nice little two-storey Japanese house. The door was answered by a rather charming young lady, perhaps in her late twenties, with lavender hair and a pleasant expression on her beautiful features.

Now, call me paranoid, but given what Kazehana said about her, I had to wonder, what could scare a Sekirei? Well, unless she was a very dedicated dyer of hair, maybe she was a Sekirei herself. After all, lavender hair wasn't exactly natural.

Anyway, she said, her smile becoming ever-so-slightly forced upon seeing Kazehana, "Ah, Kazehana. Have you brought someone here?"

"Actually, I was told by a mutual acquaintance that you might have something in the way of decent lodgings in exchange for reasonable remuneration. Savvy?" I asked.

Miya blinked as she processed what I said, before she smiled again. That innocent little smile…yeah, I wasn't buying it for one second. I've seen similar sweet smiles on people just before they tried to slit my throat. "Oh. Well then, my husband did make it a policy not to turn away anyone seeking help," she said.

Of course, it was not long afterwards that that little bit before with the mask happened, and that's where we resume the tale…

 **CHAPTER 2 ANNOTATIONS:**

 **So, Minato/Jack has encountered Minaka and Miya. Let the chaos begin.**

 **1\. I think it's a popular fan theory (and one I subscribe to) that Cutler Beckett, after branding Jack Sparrow, was made into a eunuch or a near-eunuch by Sparrow. So that's what I'm going with here. Beckett is certainly coy about the mark Sparrow left on him.**

 **2\. This is a really bad pun I picked up from an instalment of the** ** _Final Fantasy_** **webcomic spoof** ** _8-Bit Theater_** **.**


	4. Chapter 3: The Hannya of the North VS

**CHAPTER 3:**

 **THE HANNYA OF THE NORTH VERSUS THE TROLL OF THE SEAS**

So, let's pick up where we left off. I had just managed to derail Miya's little intimidation tactic, causing a spectacular crash with no survivors. Uzume, the brunette in the pink shirt with a gold star on it, was looking at me akin to religious awe, as was Kazehana, though she looked understandably confused. Homura, a rather effeminate silver-haired young man, looked like he wanted to be somewhere else before the inevitable conflagration occurred, somewhat ironic considering his powers.

Miya, meanwhile, managed to reboot her brain, and gave me a look. "Aren't you confusing yourself with Captain Jack Sparrow from those books?"

"Ah, a fan, eh?"

Miya actually hid a smile behind the voluminous sleeve of her kimono. "Actually, I believe your mother introduced me to them. A talented young novelist, I thought."

"So, you do know my mother. And I'm guessing you're a Sekirei yourself."

Now, Homura and Uzume looked shocked, understandably, as did Kazehana. Miya, however, seemed better prepared, and merely said, "I don't know what you mean. I'm just a normal landlady."

"And I'm Davy Jones," I snarked back.

"Where's your tentacle beard, then?" Kazehana asked wryly.

"Lost it on a bet on Liar's Dice. Never been happier," I said. I turned back to Miya. "Now, no lewd activities in Maison Izumo? Are the walls really that thin? Or is it something else? We don't have any children here, do we? I mean, I can understand a certain lack of rumpy-pumpy if that's the case, don't want to scar the kiddies. Well, it should be okay if I go with Kazehana to a love hotel or something, savvy? Should I bring you back video of the highlights as a souvenir?"

Miya looked gobsmacked, as did Homura. Kazehana was trying very hard not to laugh, albeit a little nervously. And Uzume merely shook her head, and said, "Big. Brass. Bowling Balls. No, titanium, they're _titanium!_ They have to be!"

"Look, if you value your life or your sanity…what there is left of it, then please stop," Homura groaned. "She'll make me cremate you once she's finished, assuming there's pieces big enough to."

"What's life without a little risk, eh?" I said with a winning grin, before I felt a ladle collide with my skull. I glared at Miya, who was failing miserably at looking innocent. Then again, she wasn't even trying, with that damned smile. "Ow. That's no way to treat a perfectly good kitchen utensil."

"Titanium," Uzume said flatly. " _They're made of titanium._ "

"That's enough smart talk out of you," Miya said, bringing out that damned _Hannya_ mask again.

I raised an unimpressed eyebrow. "Really? It didn't work the first time, and you're trying again? Isn't the very definition of insanity repeating the same thing and expecting a different…OH BUGGER THAT'S WORSE!"

Yep. It seemed she could turn up the dial on her little intimidation aura and _Hannya_ mask, so it's gone from a three to a six. Still not as bad as being face to face with Davy Jones, or being blasted by the halitosis of the Kraken, but it was getting there. And in the middle of it all was the serene landlady, her eyes now vaguely glowing circles of light, like she was some undead monster, her smile just a touch flatter and more insincere. "Now, are we going to have any more problems?" she asked in that ever-so-sweet tone.

I gathered myself, as best as I could. This was like weathering a storm, I reminded myself. I remembered that damned maelstrom Calypso created after she was freed. That was one of the worst I had ever experienced. So I put on my most winning smile (mostly a grimace thanks to that aura), and said, "Probably, yeah. Don't worry, we'll adhere to the no rumpy-pumpy rules and no bloodshed rules. Like I said, we'll just head elsewhere for sex and violence, keep your house free of stains from bodily fluids. I'm sure they're hard to get out."

After a moment, that seemed to mollify her slightly, and the aura, with attendant mask, went away. Miya, however, peered at me. "What about being insolent?"

"Well, _technically_ , that ain't in the rules, Mrs Asama, and I take a perverse delight in being a gadfly towards those who try to step on me. You know my mother, and she might have told you…"

"…That you are a rude, insolent and disrespectful young man," Miya said. "I expected her to be exaggerating at worst. I never thought she would be _understating_ it." She sighed. "My husband said not to turn away those who want help."

I decided to turn down the trolling instincts for the moment. "I suppose. Look, we got off on the wrong foot. I have a perverse delight in digging my own grave at times, there's a vicarious thrill to be had from doing that, and then clambering out of it in haste when people try to bury you. That, and thoroughly bamboozling people, whether they be friend or foe, and especially those who adhere a little too strongly to rules."

She blinked, before she said, "You really _do_ act a lot like Captain Sparrow." After a moment's consideration, she said, "I'll probably regret this, but if nothing else, you'll make the place livelier. That being said, if you wish to drink beyond a certain amount, I suggest doing it elsewhere."

"Spoilsport," Kazehana murmured, only to flinch when Miya's gaze snapped to her.

" _Titanium_ ," Uzume whispered in awe.

* * *

After that rather shaky start, we agreed to Miya's terms. I don't know what a beautiful lady like herself was doing acting like some strict nun at a boarding school, but the rooms were good, and, as long as no actual 'lewd activity' was undertaken (after considerable discussion with Miya, I learned that apparently first base was perfectly fine as long as we were sitting or standing, and second base was okay behind closed doors), and we took our drinking elsewhere, it was fine. She also finally admitted that she was a Sekirei, though she refused to admit her number. Given the way she had authority over those present, though, I think I could hazard a guess. She was Numero Uno, I'd wager a lifetime's abstinence from rum on it.

Now, it's time for me to make some observations of the other residents of Maison Izumo. First, Homura, though he insisted that I call him Kagari for some reason. Maybe he was undercover. Silver-haired, and his pretty boy looks made Will Turner's cry in shame. Hell, he even vaguely sounded like a woman, albeit a woman with a deeper, huskier voice, which was a bit weird. His panic while I was trolling Miya aside, he was as cool as a cucumber, a far cry from his incendiary powers.

Uzume was a flirtatious, playful sort, though I learned she already had an Ashikabi. She didn't really want to talk about it, suggesting that her Ashikabi was a painful subject, with something bad apparently happening to said Ashikabi. However, she willingly identified herself as Number 10.

Kazehana and I decided to have lunch out, if only to allow the awkwardness that I had stirred up upon arrival to dissipate somewhat. Kazehana shook her head. "I haven't seen someone standing up like that to Miya in a long time. I don't know whether you're brave or suicidal."

"I enjoy annoying my mother," I said with a lazy smirk. "You know her, don't you?"

"Sadly, yes. Your mother and I…we don't get along."

"That's hardly surprising. At least Miya smiles when she's threatening you with a painful demise, Mum doesn't even bother. But for all that, I love her, and she loves me in spite of my…charming character quirks."

Kazehana chuckled. "But you drive her insane?"

"It's a trip as short as her temper. She told me many times I got it from my father, whoever that was," I remarked, before frowning. That little bit of thinking out loud got the old gears turning inside. And I didn't like the conclusions they were drawing, especially when I thought about Minaka's face. "Ah."

"Ah?"

"Kazehana, I'd like you to be honest. The woman that crazy wanker Minaka dumped you for…was that my mother by any chance?"

After a moment, she reluctantly admitted, "…Yes."

"Which means my erstwhile sperm donor is said crazy wanker. Am I right?"

"I don't know for sure, but while you take more after your mother in the looks department, your cheekbones and hands do resemble Minaka's."

I nodded. "Right. First off, I am taking you to the restaurant of your choice as compensation for knowing both my parents. Secondly, I am sending my mother a very big batch of flowers in commiseration for having to deal with me and Minaka simultaneously. If I'd known she had to deal with such crazy with her ex, I would have toned it down a little, though it explains where my sister and I got it from. Incidentally, if you meet Yukari, she might grope your breasts."

"Why?" Kazehana asked, looking bemused at such a thought.

"Breast envy. Plus, she's got a thing for me, and while she's a comely lass, I do draw the line at incest, so I think she does it to drive off potential girlfriends. She's also something of a manga otaku, so, fair warning."

Kazehana chuckled. "Well, at least your family isn't boring. Ah, love is so strange at times."

"Tell me about it," I muttered.

* * *

As we had lunch, we made small talk. Kazehana, as it turned out, was something of a romantic soul, getting downright giddy when it came to matters of love. I was a teensy bit more of a pragmatic soul where matters of love were concerned, but I had to say, Kazehana was pretty likeable. Gorgeous figure, lovely personality, and could hold her drink better than most pirates. Had to admit, I was a tad envious, as I wondered whether Sekirei were less prone, or even immune to cirrhosis, liver cancer, and all that rot. Though we didn't drink that much at lunch.

After lunch, we went for a nice little walk, and Kazehana remarked, "You know, it's really odd how much you act like Captain Jack. It's like you are him."

I scoffed. I didn't think even an alien woman with a bust that many would envy would believe in reincarnation. "A writer does have to get into character somewhat, savvy?" I said. "And I've always felt it easy to get into the character of Captain Jack. Maybe it's because of what I inherited from my dear _pater familias_. Though I never thought he'd be a fan. Is that paternal pride, or does he actually like them?"

Kazehana shrugged. "I don't think anybody knows what goes through Minaka's head. All I can say is that he doesn't do normal at all."

"That's okay. Neither do I. Should I leave you behind when I go to sign his books? Avoid any awkwardness?"

"That might be for the best. I never would have picked Haihane for a fan, though. She's more into anime and video games than books. She may look scary and creepy, but she's sort of sweet, in a depressing Goth sort of way," Kazehana said. "Pretty clumsy too, which is a bad combination with those claws of hers. And Benitsubasa…well, she's got a temper. I try not to go near her, as she's got a complex…well, more of a simple, really, about her lack of a bust."

"Nothing wrong with that, as long as they're old enough, and the looks and personality are up to par, savvy?" I said.

Kazehana snorted. "It's not that way with Benitsubasa, of course. Personality-wise, anyway. But Haihane's fine if she's not wearing those claws. You should never underestimate a Sekirei, though."

I had no intention of doing so. One of my first lessons in life, even if it didn't always take, was to never underestimate anyone, especially not a woman. Look at Elizabeth Swann, for example. Pampered daughter of the governor of Port Royal, and yet, she kicked arse quite a lot of the time, with at least one of those arses being my own. And she certainly was a quick thinker and smooth talker on a par with yours truly. I'll be honest, I really do hope she and Will had a happy time after their son destroyed that Trident of Poseidon.

We were now walking through a park. Now, I had a bad experience in an Australian park once, involving fruit bats. I wasn't exactly a chiroptophobe (that is, afraid of bats), and I didn't mind walking through parks, but when Kazehana suddenly stopped, I blurted out a line I had seen in a movie once. "We can't stop here! This is bat country(1)!"

Kazehana looked askance at me, before she indicated a park bench. I followed her gaze, and frowned when I saw what was sitting on it. Or rather, who.

Sitting morosely on the bench was a young woman with short, light-brown hair framing beautiful, if somewhat lugubrious features. She was dressed in little more than a rather ragged-looking labcoat with blood on it. Her bust, while mostly concealed by the labcoat, was still bigger than Kazehana's, and I had to wonder whether she got back pain from those things.

Oh, and that Sekirei crest that I saw on Kazehana's back was emblazoned across her forehead. Like with Harry Potter and that lightning bolt scar, only much more conspicuous.

"I presume there is some pressing reason for you drawing this unfortunate to my attention," I said. "She is a Sekirei, of course, unless the latest fashion in Shinto Teito is tattooing your noggin. I must confess, that never really appealed to me."

"Focus, Minato!" Kazehana hissed. "That's Akitsu!"

Ah. The so-called 'Scrapped Number'. The one that the idiots at Mad Bastard Industries screwed over. "Ah, well…Miya did say she wouldn't turn away someone in need. And this fine lass is in need of food, shelter, and clothes that don't make her look like a murderous exhibitionist. Do you think she will hurt us?"

Kazehana, after a moment, said, "I don't know. But she's certainly dangerous."

"Kazehana, darling, you Sekirei are all dangerous. So are human beings. And like I said earlier, what's life without a little risk, eh? Anyway, if we can persuade her to come with us, that means she can't be used against us by rival Ashikabi, even if she is unable to be Winged. We might be able to persuade her to enter into an alliance of mutual convenience, and as a Single Number, Scrapped or not, she will indubitably be of considerable help should she deign to assist us. Savvy?"

Kazehana processed what I said, before asking wryly, "Is it her breasts as well?"

"I'd be lying if I said they weren't a factor. I make an effort to help out beautiful women in distress. I don't know whether it is a faint ember of chivalry that refuses to go out or a kind of altruistic lechery. Or both."

Kazehana chuckled. "You really _are_ like Captain Jack. And if you're worried about me being jealous, don't be. Some Ashikabi are powerful enough to Wing multiple Sekirei, and in truth, most of us aren't bothered by it. In fact, the more Sekirei you Wing, the better our chances to survive this moronic tournament Minaka set up. And even if you can't Wing her, Akitsu might be a good ally."

"Well then, let's go make friends and influence people, shall we?" I asked, before I swaggered over to Akitsu. I could feel the air getting colder as I approached her. Now, I had dealt with frigid women before, but a refrigerated woman was another kettle of fish entirely. So I decided to stop before I violated her personal space, and cleared my throat. She gave no reaction. Hmm, maybe she was asleep. I cleared my throat again, before saying, "Lovely day out, innit? Flowers are blooming, birds are singing…on days like these, people like you should be having a nice little sunbathe, savvy?"

Well, this got a reaction. She was apparently awake all along, for she looked up at me with rather dead eyes. No expression in them whatsoever.

"Sorry, am I annoying you? Only, I have a tendency to do that," I said. "Allow me to introduce myself. I am Minato Sahashi, this is Kazehana, and I am told your name is Akitsu, is that right?"

After a moment, she nodded. "Yes."

Wow. If this was a movie, she would get the award for wooden acting. Undeterred, I ploughed on. "Now, I'm sure you'd like a roof over your head and some grub. No strings attached, though I wouldn't say no to a bit of help."

She looked at me for a moment, and then at Kazehana, before she shook her head. "I'm broken. I cannot find my Ashikabi now."

"Lass, all the interesting folk are at least a little broken inside. That's nothing a little drink, debauchery, and dangerous adventure won't help fix," I said(2).

She blinked in confusion, perhaps the most expressive gesture she had made since I saw her. It was kind of endearing, actually. But as she seemed to think it over, Kazehana said, "Minato, we've got company."

I looked up, and found a boy striding towards us, maybe 15 at most, dressed in a shirt that had ruffles on it, for crying out loud! Who wore ruffles in this day and age, unless you were Austin Powers, or Jon Pertwee(3)? He was accompanied by a young man with handsome, if stern, features, framed by greyish-brown hair. Oh, and he wore a yellow scarf, an outfit a little too much like Sephiroth's for my liking, and had a sword. So, I'm guessing that either the brat had a bodyguard with a thing for cosplay, or said bodyguard was a Sekirei.

"I hope you are not taking her away, mister," the boy said with a cheerful smile that nonetheless had an air of malice in it. "The Scrapped Number is _mine_ …"

 **CHAPTER 3 ANNOTATIONS:**

 **So, Minato/Jack has survived Miya, but can he survive Mikogami and Mutsu?**

 **1\. This is, of course, a line from** ** _Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas_** **, where Johnny Depp played Raoul Duke, a fictionalised Hunter S Thompson. I intend to put in more Raoul Duke lines. I can see Jack saying those…**

 **2\. This line is modified from one Arawn D Draven discussed in correspondence.**

 **3\. Austin Powers should be self-evident, but Jon Pertwee, during his time playing the Third Doctor in** ** _Doctor Who_** **, frequently wore ruffled shirts.**


	5. Chapter 4: Here Come the Fans

**CHAPTER 4:**

 **HERE COME THE FANS**

As Kazehana tensed, about ready to fight, and the Sekirei with the sword did as well, I put my hands up. "Parley."

They all looked at me as if I had gone barmy. Well, I have to admit, it's a fairly short trip. "Parley?" the Sekirei with the sword asked.

"He means he wants to negotiate," the boy said with an irritated sigh. "He's like Captain Jack Sparrow."

"Oh, a fan of the books, eh?" I asked. Over a couple of lifetimes, I could say that I'm a half-decent reader of people. The brat here looked to be a spoilt brat, not quite malicious, but his empathy wasn't quite developed yet. So, if I could find an angle, I could find something else he wanted instead of Akitsu.

"I have the first editions in both English AND Japanese. I am Hayato Mikogami," he declared. "This is Number 05, Mutsu."

"Pleased to meet you," I lied. "I am Minato Sahashi, and these lovely ladies are Number 03, Kazehana, and Number 07, Akitsu."

"She's a Scrapped Number, she doesn't have one," Mikogami said.

"She has one, and she has a name, mate. People ain't toys or collectable figurines."

Mikogami seemed about to retort, before something occurred to him. "Wait, did you say Minato Sahashi?"

"Well, yeah. Why?"

And then, his eyes widened, his jaw dropped into an enthusiastic grin, and, well, I recognised the signs of a terminal case of Rabid Fanboy Syndrome. Oh, _bugger_. Somehow, he knew who I was. And his words somehow confirmed it. "Minato Sahashi, aka Jack Teague, the author of the _Jack Sparrow_ books?!"

"Uhh…where did you hear that?" I asked.

"It was posted all over Sparrow Watch last night!" Mikogami said, fishing around in his shirt, before pulling out a smartphone. He opened up an app, and showed it to me. I knew of Sparrow Watch, a fan website dedicated to my works, and it even had a dedicated BBS.

And the offending party who had blown my identity in the BBS? MBIGod123. And whose avatar was recognisably a photo of Minaka in cosplay as Jack, only he actually had the facial hair. Drawn on his face with black marker pen. Huh. I wonder if he got high off marker pen ink fumes or something? That'd explain a lot.

And that idiot had even posted my mobile number and email. I'd ask how he got those, but he knew who I was, and which hotel room I had been staying with. I had switched my mobile off last night, I realised, and had forgotten to turn the damned thing back on. Now I was afraid to do so, as I was sure I was going to get a lot of text messages and nude pictures from women who would claim to want my babies, and friend requests up the wazoo. A very painful and inconvenient place to have friend requests, incidentally, or anything for that matter.

"I've changed my mind, Kazehana," I said all-too-calmly. "That wanker's not getting autographs. Unless it's signed in his own blood." I sighed. "Yes, my secret identity has been blown out of the water. I am Jack Teague."

"Cool!" Mikogami chirped. "Please, please, _please_ , can I get your autograph?"

I was on the verge of resignedly accepting, before an idea occurred to me. As spoilt as this little brat was, he also seemed to be an earnest sort. If Kazehana was right, then he was already one of the major players in this little blood-sport tournament, and while he would probably be my enemy towards the end, maybe I could make an ally of him.

"Tell you what," I said. "You said you had both the English and Japanese versions of the books. How about, in exchange for autographing them all, plus, if you really want, a selfie, I take this bonny lass with me. In addition, we share information about possible threats, etc. Oh, and another thing, please try not to Wing Sekirei unwillingly. Try to do that only when they're reacting to you, savvy?"

Mikogami blinked. "Why not?"

"Look, Sekirei react to their fated partners, savvy? They want to be Winged by you…"

"…Most of the time, anyway," Kazehana said.

"Anyway, those who want to be Winged by you, well, go nuts, Wing them if you want, I couldn't care less if you built yourself a wee harem, even if you're a bit young for that sort of thing. But Winging those who are unwilling…well, it's like rape, innit? Only you bind them to be your slave. Now, imagine that being done to you." Mikogami flinched. "Doesn't paint a pleasant picture, does it, mate? I ain't saying stop Winging Sekirei, just Wing those who react to you. People ain't chess pieces, any more than they're cargo, and Sekirei, well, they may be aliens, but they're also people. Savvy?"

Mikogami scowled. "I can do what I want," he said petulantly. "However, if you are willing to autograph my books, I will allow you to have the Scrapped Number."

"Her name is Akitsu, mate. Try to remember that. I mean, you wouldn't like it if I called you names."

Mutsu looked at Kazehana. "You have an interesting Ashikabi, it seems, Kazehana. I don't know whether that is a good thing or bad thing."

Kazehana chuckled. "Oh, I think it's very much a good thing, Mutsu. He's got VERY good hands…"

* * *

I did autograph those books (the spoilt brat had them in his limo!), and gave Mikogami his selfie, much to his delight. We also traded phone numbers, though I decided I was probably going to have to get a new phone number thanks to that twat Minaka. While I couldn't say that Mikogami was an ally at all, given his reaction to what he called a self-righteous lecture, we didn't part on the worst of terms, and Mutsu, quietly, said he would try to persuade Mikogami to do things that way.

As Mikogami and his escort drove off, I found myself in possession of a Broken Sekirei. I'd call her damaged goods, but, well, that would cross a line. I gave her my coat to wear, to conceal her modesty somewhat better than what she already had. We decided to stop by some clothes shops on the way back. As we did so, I reluctantly took out my phone and turned it on. After a moment, I winced. Nearly a hundred missed calls and about half a thousand text or photo messages. I found at least a few from Minaka, asking me when I would come to autograph his books. Those were the only ones I replied to, at least at first. I sent back the following message: _After what you pulled, apart from your own member, Sperm Donor, I'll come to autograph your books some time never. This is why you can't have nice things, savvy?_

I frowned at one photo message as I began to run through them, deleting them. It had that silver-haired Sekirei I had seen yesterday, the one Kazehana identified as Haihane. She was kind of cute, in a creepy-looking way, a bit like a Goth, her body wrapped in bandages underneath a tattered black kimono. Her photo had her holding her books to the camera (presumably someone else took the photo) and giving me what was probably her best puppy-dog eyes impression. After a moment, I sighed, and sent back a message. _Time and place?_

A few seconds after I sent it, I heard a brief snatch of _A Pirate's Life_ , that song from Disney's _Pirates of the Caribbean_ ride. I blinked, and then, looked up, for that's where it came from. Poking her head over the edge of a rooftop, currently looking at her phone, was Haihane. Then, I heard a rather shrill voice from up there yell, "What're you doing, Haihane?!"

"He's sent me a text message back," Haihane said, her voice a gentle, low rasp. "And he's looking at me."

"Dammit, we're meant to be running surveillance on him when he got the Scrapped Number, not asking him for autographs!" snarled the other Sekirei.

"Bugger, I've got another stalker," I murmured. Then, I called up to her, "Are you going to come down here or what?"

Haihane shrugged, before she disappeared briefly, and then leapt over the side of the building, landing quite gracefully, for someone carrying a backpack. "You idiot, Haihane, you forgot your claws!" shrilled the other voice.

"Hey, we don't need them, I'll damage my books and my phone otherwise, Benitsubasa," Haihane called up to the nag, who showed herself, scowling over the edge of the building. Pink hair, belligerent demeanour, no tits to speak of…yeah, she was basically like an alien version of Sakura Haruno. I wonder if she also had the hots for an emo of dubious morals too? Methinks my ears did hear a faint sneeze coming from MBI HQ

"Fine then, I'll throw them down for you!" Benitsubasa snarled, throwing down a pair of massive, oversized clawed gauntlets, which stuck in the footpath, right between us.

"You could have hurt someone with those things," I called out. "Doesn't the Discipline Squad understand the concept of Health and Safety?"

Haihane chuckled, while Benitsubasa's scowl deepened, before she hopped down to the ground. "Dammit, Haihane, give him those stupid books to sign, now that you've blown our cover!"

"Sorry," she said, more to me than to Benitsubasa, before gingerly taking out some very well-read copies of the _Jack Sparrow_ books. They certainly made a contrast to the pristine condition ones Mikogami had, who had handled the books with cotton gloves, and had glared at Kazehana when she all but looked at them. Whereas these had been read over and over again. Not exactly falling apart, but the covers were bent and scuffed and had scratches, and there were a few dog-eared pages. In a way, I preferred these that way. Mikogami had an anal retentive vibe about those books, like Sheldon Cooper if he was a millionaire brat, collecting them for the sake of collecting. But Haihane clearly loved these books, even if it was somewhat rough love.

As I signed them, I said, "Incidentally, would one of you mind acting as a delivery girl? Only, I just found out who my father was, and I want to send some flowers to my mother as an apology."

"Aren't you Dr Sahashi's son?" Haihane asked.

"And, unfortunately, I have Hiroto Minaka as my sperm donor, I think," I drawled. "I'd be more respectful given that he's my _pater familias_ , but he gave away my email and phone number on Sparrow Watch."

Haihane nodded in sympathy. "I'm sorry I messaged you, but…I really love these books."

"Well, I think they're stupid! Well, except for that romance between Will and Elizabeth, but then, Will becomes the Captain of the _Flying Dutchman!_ What kind of crap is that?!" Benitsubasa bitched.

"It's the way the story goes, sweetheart. I can't please everyone, savvy? And Minaka, your boss, is probably a eunuch." I indicated the MBI HQ in the distance, a massive large, phallic tower. "I mean, I think he's compensating for the absence of something with yonder building, don't you agree?"

Haihane took one look at the MBI HQ, and then began laughing out loud, clutching her sides. Kazehana chuckled. Meanwhile, Benitsubasa looked annoyed, while Akitsu looked bemused. "Anyway," I said, finishing off the autographs, "I was wondering if you could tail us both to a florist's, so I can get…hmm, what's good for an apology?"

"Yellow roses," Kazehana said. "I once looked up books on the language of flowers, in both the East and the West(1). I tried to give Minaka a bouquet declaring my love for him, but he gave them to Takami."

"Good. So, if I buy those, would you mind delivering them to my mother, Haihane?" I asked.

She blushed slightly, before nodding silently, accepting the books and putting them back in her bag. Noticing the blush, and remembering what happened with Kazehana before I winged her, I asked, "You're not reacting, are you?"

"We already have an Ashikabi," Haihane admitted. "I'm just…happy to have these."

Benitsubasa clicked her tongue in annoyance. "Are you finished? If we must act as delivery girls, I know a good florist just down the road…"

* * *

And it was a good florist. I not only bought my apology bouquet for my mother (along with a card that I scribbled down the following message: _I know who my father is. My sincerest apologies for having a double dose of crazy from me and Minaka. Love, Minato_ ), but I got a couple of bouquets for Kazehana and Akitsu, another bunch of yellow roses for Miya, and even a lovely rose for Haihane, who blushed even more. Then, we parted ways, though not without Benitsubasa grumbling some more. I pity her Ashikabi.

As we headed to get some clothes, I rang up Miya. "Mrs Asama," I said as she answered the phone, "I'm afraid I'll be bringing back another tenant. She's the one whose wings were clipped, if you get my meaning."

Oddly enough, she didn't sound surprised. I wondered, did she somehow know about what happened? "… _I see. Is she all right?_ "

"She's been living as a vagrant, so she is a touch fragrant. Oh, and she only has a couple of pieces of clothing to her name," I said. "I'm remedying the clothing bit as we speak. Do you have any objections, your whole thing about no sex or violence at your home aside, Mrs Asama?"

" _As long as she understands the rules, there should be no problem_ ," Miya said. " _And please, call me Miya._ "

"Okay, Mrs Asama. See you later," I said, smirking, before quickly hanging up. Something told me she could project that damned aura over the phone line. The thing about trolling is knowing at which point you should quit while you're ahead. Or, more to the point, while you still HAVE a head. And a body. Connected, for preference. You get the idea.

* * *

It was shortly thereafter that, having obtained a new set of clothes for Akitsu (she had to be reminded to wear underwear, for some reason, something I don't think Kazehana or yours truly would have had trouble with, but Miya would have) and having switched my mobile number for myself at the phone store, which took a while (fuck you, fanboys and fangirls, I like having a little privacy!), as well as stopping to buy a couple of personal security essentials, just in case (like a canister of Mace), we made our merry way back to Maison Izumo. Akitsu's dress sense, however, seemed to run to these kimono-like dresses that, if it weren't for a chain she wore, were in perpetual danger of a wardrobe malfunction. Maybe she wanted to look somewhat kinky. Or maybe she liked a vaguely _yuki-onna_ look(2). I'm buggered if I know.

Anyway, as we made our way back to Maison Izumo, Kazehana asked, "You know, if I didn't know any better, I'd say you were a reincarnation of Captain Jack himself."

"And what if I were to say that I was, my dear Kazehana?" I asked.

She chuckled. "Well, I'd think you were crazy…but the sort of crazy I'd love. Besides, I'm an alien with powers, I can't exactly throw stones about crazy. Besides…I'd love you to be my captain."

"Ah…can you be my captain too, Minato?" Akitsu asked in her soft voice.

"Why not? We can be a pirate crew together!" I said. "More badass than that idiot kid with the rubber body! Gum-Gum Fruit, my arse."

As you might have gathered, I'm not exactly a fan of _One Piece_ , or at least its protagonist, one Monkey D Luffy. Pirates with brains like his (that is, non-existent) tend not to last very long, even if they had superpowers. Unless they've been cursed to be undead. Though I have to admit, Arlong and his men gave me bad flashbacks of Davy Jones and his crew.

Anyway, we soon approached Maison Izumo, singing _Dead Man's Chest_ (well, Kazehana and I were, while Akitsu, after hearing it for a while, hummed it quietly with a slight smile on her face), until we got to the front door, opening it up. Miya was waiting in the main room as we entered, singing. Her smile seemed somewhat genuine. "Oh, and what a merry homecoming!" she said. "Is this the new tenant?"

"Yes. Mrs Asama, meet Akitsu. Akitsu, meet Miya Asama, your new landlady."

Akitsu seemed to recognise Miya, and after a brief moment of anxiety, bowed, doing interesting things, incidentally, to her breasts. "Ah…please take care of me," she said.

"My, how polite," Miya said. "So unlike your Ashikabi."

"I consider manners and etiquette to be a vestigial construct of society that can be done without under certain circumstances. Savvy?" I remarked.

"Oh, I savvy," Miya said, smiling her ever-so-sweet smile that promised retribution. "But I find your paradigm in direct conflict with my own and have found that the only conclusion that can be reached is operant conditioning via fear." The _Hannya_ mask appeared again, albeit at the 'three out of ten' level. " _Savvy?_ "

I looked at her blandly, and said, "Oh I savvy. It doesn't mean you will succeed, though…"

 **CHAPTER 4 ANNOTATIONS:**

 **And the declaration of war has been made! Miya VS Minato/Jack! FIGHT! And no, we're not going for the Guile theme, despite the claim that it goes with anything. I prefer the Ryu theme, or at least the version from** ** _Street Fighter V_** **. Now THAT'S epic…**

 **Incidentally, I have just received a copy of the first season of** ** _Sekirei_** **on Blu-Ray. So, fans of the series, expect to get more fics from me, even if they aren't for a while.**

 **Review-answering time!** **Mangahero18** **: Jack's specialty is not in physical combat, at least not full-on combat. His specialty is thinking on his feet and bamboozling and manipulating his foes (and friends) to get what he wants. His most potent weapons, as seen above, are his mind and his tongue. Also, keep in mind that Jack, while a decent enough swordsman, is by no means able to go toe-to-toe with a Sekirei.**

 **coduss** **: I always thought Tia Dalma had a soft spot for Jack, despite the ups and downs, so she probably let him go willingly.**

 **DocSlendy** **: True, but he wasn't my favourite Doctor in the classic series, not by a long shot (with at least Sylvester McCoy, Tom Baker, and Patrick Troughton preceding him). I think it was partly because most of his stories were the admittedly somewhat formulaic UNIT stories. Malcolm Hulke once said to then script editor Terrance Dicks that, with the earthbound format, there were only two types of stories available: alien invasion and mad scientist. Hulke would then go on to write a very unusual alien invasion story:** ** _Doctor Who and the Silurians_** **, where the aliens were actually intelligent beings who lived on Earth long before humanity.**

 **Guest** **: It would be hard for Minato to get a firearm in Japan, as I believe they have somewhat strict gun control. I never even thought of giving him a canesword, but that's partly because Jack's greatest weapons, as mentioned above, are his mind and his tongue. When he fights Sekirei, he will fight dirty and using anything to hand to deal with them. As for bonding with Kusano, it's not going to happen. That being said, Kusano will have an Ashikabi. Yukari is one option I am considering seriously (the thought of Shiina and Kusano being reunited being too appealing to pass up), and there's another possibility later on.**

 **Oh, and by the way, regarding my choice of calling my compilation** ** _Quatermass' Compost Heap_** **, I thought it an inspired choice. Like a compost heap, dead matter is thrown in, and new things are grown from it. It may not be poetic, but it's certainly apt.**

 **1\. Floriography, aka the language of flowers, is a code in what flowers you give to someone. The Japanese have a different code to Europe. Kazehana's helping, despite her animosity with Takami, because she likes Minato.**

 **2\. For those who don't know, a** ** _yuki-onna_** **or 'snow-woman' is a kind of youkai who appears as a woman (either nude or in a white kimono) in extremely cold climates. Some are malevolent, and others become lovers of humans. Probably the best example in modern Japanese pop-culture is, of course, Mizore from** ** _Rosario + Vampire_** **, though she doesn't look like the traditional** ** _yuki-onna_** **.**


	6. Chapter 5: Matsu the Pervert

**CHAPTER 5:**

 **MATSU THE PERVERT**

Later that night, after a lovely meal (I have to say, Miya was a delightful cook, and I would love to see what she could do with the provisions on a ship at sea), we retired to bed. However, I found my repose more than a little troubled, and I eventually had to go and relieve myself. But while washing my hands afterwards, I saw something in the mirror over the sink. A dark outline with large shining eyes.

Now, was it a ghost? While I have had more than my fair share of experience with the otherworldly, I doubted it. I returned to washing my hands at the sink, keeping an eye on the apparition out of the corner of my eye as I did so. I fancy I heard a chuckle, not the malevolent mirth of a damned soul…but a somewhat more perverted one.

"I'm sorry," I said out loud, "is there some sort of fetish that involves getting off on watching people wash their hands?" I looked up at the mirror, and saw the apparition actually staring at me, mouth agape. And a rather pretty mouth at that. In fact, if I didn't know any better, I'd say that my voyeur was a woman.

After a moment of getting over her shock, my voyeur decided to approach, stepping into the light, revealing herself to be a rather buxom lass (I've been seeing a lot of that lately, haven't I?) with orange hair done in twin plaits, glasses, and wearing a white qipao or something similar. She chuckled that same perverted chuckle I heard. "Minato Sahashi. 19 years old. Author of the _Jack Sparrow_ historical fantasy novels under the pen name of Jack Teague. Ashikabi unofficially of Number 07, Akitsu, and officially of Number 03, Kazehana…and me, Number 02, Matsu…"

Now, she then lunged towards me, and while her intentions weren't exactly hostile, I still dodged to the side on reflex, and then dashed for my room, fumbling in my effects (Kazehana and Akitsu stirring), before wheeling around just as Matsu dashed in, my recently purchased canister of Mace (well, pepper spray, but hey) aimed at her face. "Mace! You want this?!" I demanded. Matsu, after realising what I had, backed away, her hands held in front of her. "Nothing like a Mace high, forty five minutes on your knees with the dry heaves, that ought to calm you down(1). Savvy?"

"…Wasn't that pepper spray?" Kazehana asked sleepily. "And Matsu, can I ask you not to rape my Ashikabi?"

"…I wasn't going to _rape_ him," Matsu said.

"No, you were going to Wing yourself to me without any preamble," I said. "Dammit, even Kazehana waited until we had gotten to know each other for about, what, an hour?" I frowned as I realised something. "Aren't you on the run or something? Did you impersonate a member of the clergy by chance?" Ah, that was fun, and profitable. I remember that time I nearly got hanged in Port Royal, and Norrington, he of the ten-foot stick up the alimentary canal, read out a necessarily abridged list of my crimes. The clergy one was a pleasant surprise to hear from that list, and probably one of the few pleasant things to happen that day…apart from my daring escape with the help of Will and Elizabeth.

Ah…yet another day where they could claim that they _almost_ caught Captain Jack Sparrow. Then again, despite my trying not to make it a habit, it was far from my first or last time on the gallows, about to dance the Hemp Fandango.

"Umm…no," Matsu said, in confused response to my question about the clergy. Ah, the Captain Jack Sparrow School of Bamboozlement and Befuddlement. You can't beat being a graduate of that particular institute of learning. "I mean…I'm on the run, but not for impersonating a priest…or a nun." A perverted smirk came over her features once more. "But maybe I can be a naughty nun for you…"

I sighed, keeping the spraycan ready. "Firstly, can we talk it over first? Secondly, my Sekirei will doubtless take you to the cleaners if you don't back off. And thirdly, and most importantly, Miya is going to be rather miffed at this situation. In fact, speak of the devil…" I added, looking over her shoulder into the dark corridor outside the room.

Matsu scoffed. "You're bluffing. Miya isn't there. There's no need…to… _worry…?_ " She shivered as a VERY familiar sensation washed over us, albeit targeted at Matsu. But we were getting the splash damage, like shrapnel from a cannon shot hitting the deck and rending it asunder. Or, timbers getting shivered, to put it in terms a pirate would understand.

Matsu turned around slowly to find a purple-haired revenant standing there, her eyes soulless glowing circles, the miasma of her malice making the already dark corridor look like the darkest depths of the ocean, and the _Hannya_ mask leering out. She was a fiend out of the depths of some cursed corner of the Seven Seas, out for someone's soul. "On the contrary, Matsu," Miya said, in that ever-so-sweet saccharine tone that heralded agony for the target of her wrath, "I believe there is EVERY need for you to worry…"

* * *

What followed next is…well, I don't really know. All I do know is that Miya dragged Matsu off somewhere like a monster or a vengeful ghost from a horror movie, with the latter whimpering all the while, while Miya told me and my Sekirei to get some sleep…and admonishing Akitsu for kicking off her pyjama bottoms. I waved a solemn farewell to Matsu as she was dragged out of sight. If I had a hat with me that moment, I would have pressed it to my breast solemnly for her plight.

The next morning, we came down to breakfast, to find an alive and contrite Matsu, along with Homura and Uzume, present. We had a peaceful breakfast, if somewhat awkward, with Miya asking that any discussion of what went on last night be postponed.

Even so, while we ate, Homura said, "I was told by Miya you tried to persuade Mikogami not to engage in any forced Wingings?"

"Yeah, mate, though time'll tell whether it'll stick," I said. "I told the spoilt little brat that it was basically like raping and enslaving someone, asked him how he would feel in his poor Sekirei's shoes. Why do you ask?"

"Homura has been tasked by both myself and your mother to protect Unwinged Sekirei from attack," Miya said. "By night, he works at a host club, partially for the income, but partially as a means of finding his Ashikabi, as he is not yet Winged."

Homura nodded. "That being said, I don't want that being advertised, so, to anyone not in the know, I'm Kagari."

I gave a thumbs up. "I understand, mate. Discretion and all that. So, what, you act like some superhero vigilante, trouncing Ashikabi and Sekirei who attacked the Unwinged ones?"

Homura and Kazehana nodded, and it was my first Sekirei who responded. "Unfortunately, he has some persistent problems. I've mentioned Hikari and Hibiki. And there's Tsukiumi, who has gotten it into her head that Homura is her rival."

"And then there's Minaka," Homura said, his voice filled with bitterness and anger.

"…Do you know that…he's my…?"

"Father? I suspected it. But…as insane as you are, you're at least not a heartless megalomaniac like he is," Homura said. "And your mother speaks highly of you, when she isn't cursing your name."

"Yeah, well, I sent her flowers as an apology last night, just like the ones I gave Mrs Asama," I said. "Between putting up with me and putting up with Minaka, she could do with an apology from me. No wonder she smokes so much. Listen, I'm more than a little miffed with Daddy Dearest too, though probably not as much as you. I'm more than willing to help you stick it sideways to him. That scurvy dog blew my _nom de plume_ right out of the water. A touch of payback is in order. Possibly in the form of humiliating pranks."

This seemed to pique Homura's interest. It seemed that the pretty boy had a mischievous streak in him after all…

* * *

Once breakfast had finished, Matsu said, "It's past time I introduced myself. Properly, I mean. I am Number 02, Matsu, Sekirei of Wisdom."

I pursed my lips in thought. "Sekirei of Wisdom, eh? Did it seem wise to sneak up on me in the middle of the night? I mean, hindsight aside."

"Matsu is, at times, a little lacking in the common sense department, Captain," Uzume said with a smirk, and with Matsu scowling. Uzume had started to call me 'Captain' because of the books I had written. I don't think either Kazehana or Akitsu had said anything to her about my claim to be Captain Jack Sparrow reborn. "But she's also the most powerful brain-type Sekirei out there."

Kazehana nodded. "While Matsu is physically weaker than most Sekirei, she more than makes up for it with her technopathic ability. She could potentially hack your phone and email account with very little effort, even without being Winged."

"Oh joy, another voyeuristic stalker, only it's via cyberspace," I said flatly. "So, tell me, and be actually honest, are you actually reacting to me, or do you want to jump me and have your wicked way with me because of my handsomeness and you enjoy my books?"

"Umm, both?"

Kazehana leaned over, and said, "Now, Captain…" Oh dear, she was starting it too, though I actually liked it. "…While Matsu is an unrepentant lech, she's also a Single Number, and skilled to boot. We were once colleagues, of a sort."

Matsu nodded. "Unfortunately, I'm on the run from MBI because I stole something. I can't really tell you what, but I can't leave this house. For various reasons, MBI will not dare trespass here due to Miya's presence."

"I see. But I presume you have some sort of workstation?"

"Hidden," Matsu said. "I can show you, now that you know I'm here."

I sighed, before I looked at Kazehana and Akitsu. The former seemed perfectly fine with Matsu joining, even encouraging, while Akitsu…well, it was hard to discern what this icy lass was thinking. I guess that whole claim of self-Winging basically being like a lobotomy was pretty close to the truth. So I turned to Matsu, and gave my best grin, and said, "Well, welcome to the crew. I guess you'll be the lookout, Kazehana will be the first mate and quartermaster, and Akitsu will be the chief gunner."

"Aye aye, Captain," Akitsu said softly.

Kazehana raised an eyebrow. "First mate AND quartermaster? I know how pirates work, a quartermaster has greater power than the captain at times(2)."

"You, I trust at least more than Barbossa." Though I have to admit, in the end, he was one of the best men I knew. "Anyway, it's in your best interests to keep me alive, isn't it? If I die, you guys get 'deactivated'. Well, save for Akitsu."

"I will not let any harm you, Captain," Akitsu said. Now SHE was doing it.

Miya was giggling at that whole thing, as was Uzume, while Homura looked like he wanted to facepalm, and was resisting the urge. Matsu, deciding she had had enough of waiting, walked around to me, and grasped my head, before kissing me. As I watched, wings of ethereal light shone forth from her back. They looked different, yellow and angular, compared to Kazehana's, who looked more like the petals of a pink flower, I realised.

"Matsu, the Sekirei of Wisdom, is yours, now and forever, 'Captain'," she said solemnly, before a lascivious smirk came over her features. "Now, we get to do some experimenting…"

"Matsu, not that I would object to it, especially if Kazehana and Akitsu got involved so that nobody misses out, but I'm sure we had better do so elsewhere, as I am sure your landlady would strenuously object for aforementioned reasons, savvy?" I indicated Miya, who was already forming that dreadful aura of hers. "That being said, I have to ask, are we in a boarding house or a nunnery?" I asked Miya.

Matsu, Kazehana, and Uzume all opened their mouths, only for Miya to shoot them all a look that clearly said, _Not one word_.

* * *

After Homura went off on his mission to fight evil, and Uzume went off to visit her Ashikabi, the house phone rang, and Miya, after some terse talking to whoever was on the other end, eventually handed it to me. "Hello?"

The wonderful, dulcet tones of my mother in a bit of a panic reached my ears. " _Minato, what happened? Why is your mobile number no longer available?_ "

"Well, because the eunuch you work for and who, despite being a eunuch, somehow managed to father me and Yukari, told all and sundry my real name, mobile number, and email, savvy?" I drawled. "And frankly, I don't trust him not to hack your phone to get it, so no, I'm not telling you my new one."

There was a long pause. " _I'd be more hurt at your lack of trust, but you're right. That sounds exactly like the sort of thing Minaka would do. Incidentally, Haihane gave me those flowers yesterday. Thank you, and I accept your apology. Though you are nowhere near as bad as Minaka. At least you care about whether you drive me spare or not. Incidentally, we learn whenever an Ashikabi Wings a Sekirei. Congratulations. You've Winged two Single Numbers, and you're also protecting Akitsu. I'd hoped to keep you out of the Sekirei Plan, to be honest, but while Kazehana and I don't see eye to eye, I trust her and Matsu to keep you safe._ "

"You know where Matsu is?"

" _Minaka's known for some time, well, guessed, but pass this on to her: as long as she doesn't hand out what she stole, then she can leave the house if she wishes. He doesn't really care anymore, so the Discipline Squad won't be sent after her. I've told Miya too. Incidentally, Yukari's in Shinto Teito too. She's going to take the university entrance exams soon._ "

"And does she know?"

"… _I've told her about Maison Izumo, but not about the Sekirei Plan. You'll have to find some way to explain your Flock._ "

"Crew. They're my new pirate crew. Savvy?"

"… _No. Please, don't do this_ ," she groaned in exasperation. " _You just apologised for the crazy stuff you've done already, please don't start again._ "

"Look, harem sounds demeaning, and Flock is…well, weird. Crew actually sounds normal by comparison, especially as Yukari knows of my little fantasy."

A sigh down the line. " _When you put it like that…very well. I'll let it slide, just this once._ "

"Just this once? Mum, you got knocked up by the same mad scientist twice, and raised me and Yukari. Are you a masochist?"

" _Yes_ ," was the blunt answer I got, before she hung up.

Hmm. Was it something I said?

Of course it was.

 **CHAPTER 5 ANNOTATIONS:**

 **So, Matsu's Winged. Next chapter, two of the most prominent women in Minato/Jack's life come back into it…**

 **Review-answering time!** **coduss** **: Oh, you meant Angelica, aka Blackbeard's daughter. Well, I dunno how he got out of that little mess, given the stinger from the fourth film.**

 **myafroatemydog** **: Jack will definitely get Musubi later on, though the rest of his Flock is another matter. I'm definitely giving Kusano and Homura different Ashikabi, while Tsukiumi is up in the air.**

 **sneak13579** **: Umm, no, there won't be incest in this story.**

 **1\. Another quote from** ** _Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas_** **, well, paraphrased, where Raoul Duke is forced to fend off a drug-crazed, knife-wielding Dr Gonzo after Duke refused to electrocute Gonzo with a tape recorder playing** ** _White Rabbit_** **by Jefferson Airplane. It makes a bit more sense in context. Not much, though.**

 **2\. No, really, this is true. A quartermaster actually held more power on most pirate ships than the captain, and only a few captains were able to hold onto their power on their own (I believe the historical Blackbeard was one of them). Then again, many pirate captains were elected, which, perversely for a group of murderous thieves, made them more progressive than many countries at the time.**


	7. Chapter 6: A New Crew

**CHAPTER 6:**

 **A NEW CREW**

It's amazing how adaptable the human psyche can be. Then again, I had pretty much experienced so much weird shit in my previous life, having a harem of beautiful alien women doesn't even make it into the Top 5. Though I'd prefer to think of them as my new crew. A crew, despite a sense of hierarchy and thus a sense of greaters and lessers, perversely enough sounds less demeaning than a harem. It gives a sense of purpose other than being a collection of sexually desirable women, and I think Miya quietly approved of my attitude, especially when I facetiously dubbed her Fleet Admiral.

The fact is, Miya seemed glad that I treated my Sekirei not just as objects of sexual desire (though that admittedly played a fairly large factor) or tools and weapons, but as friends and comrades. Given that she was in all likelihood the queen bee of the Sekirei, I could probably understand that: she probably had this maternal feeling towards her people, and I had to wonder exactly how the sperm donor had managed to stop her from interfering in MBI's little cockfight between buxom alien women. Well, apart from individuals like Benitsubasa and Homura, anyway. Oh, and Mutsu. Two of them could be excused their lack of buxomness on account of being male, even if slightly ambiguously male, and Benitsubasa…well, I'd just say it was fairly cruel luck for her to get the dregs of the buxomness bounty.

Anyway, Miya and I had, rather like my relationship with my mother, a relationship of bickering and testing boundaries that went back and forth like a tennis match, but with an underlying bond beneath. I already had a mother, and while Miya fancied herself a big sister, that was just a touch weird for me. Not because she was an extremely powerful and beautiful alien, but because, well, I'd had one weird sibling, enough for a lifetime. And Miya was weird, despite her excessively normal exterior. Normal people don't bring out demonic mask illusions to get their way. I thought of her more as a young aunt.

I think I gained some of her respect in standing up to her when we first met, in a perverse way. That, and the way I treated my crew, as well as going out of my way to help Akitsu, helped bring out more. The fact that I wanted to stick it sideways to the sperm donor also helped. That, and I helped out a little around Maison Izumo, to curry favour with her.

Though she was still a rampant party-pooper. And I teased her something fierce by calling her Mrs Asama when I wasn't calling her Fleet Admiral.

Anyhoodle, I also got to know my Sekirei better. Kazehana was, despite being a bit of a lush and an unrepentant romantic, was a confident woman. After my realising who Daddy Dearest was, we began to open up around each other. Part of Kazehana's drinking habit came from Minaka's rejection of her. By mutual agreement, we decided to cut back on our drinking a little. After all, I wanted to have a long and fairly fruitful life with my Sekirei, and while I was fairly lucky in my original life, I didn't want to need a liver transplant anytime soon in this one.

Kazehana also seemed to accept my claim that I was Captain Jack Sparrow reborn, oddly enough. She asked me for details that were never elaborated upon in the books, like what exactly I did in that Turkish prison while trying to get that drawing of the key to the Dead Man's Chest, or how I got that ship that sunk at the docks at Port Royal, or exactly why one of my crimes involved impersonating one of the clergy. She got a laugh out of that last one.

Akitsu was very different. While Kazehana or Matsu would doubtless obey my requests or orders, Akitsu was submissive to an extreme. She was also more than a little absent-minded, with Miya frequently chiding her about her forgetting to don underwear, or that mixed-bathing was not allowed in Maison Izumo. She would have made a perfect sex slave, but, well, I have issues with the word slave. As I told Cutler Beckett, people ain't cargo. And sex slaves…well, while I'm a fairly open-minded person, that was one thing I detested about some of the places I went to. Going into prostitution willingly is one thing, but getting enslaved into it…yeah. I spent quite a bit of money in my first life buying out contracts like that to free them.

Anyway, Akitsu was a submissive wench and followed me loyally, but that was because I bothered to give a damn about her, even though she was broken. I could have done so many things to her and with her, it's not funny. No, it really isn't funny. So I decided I would try to find a way to fix her. I used the compass, thinking I wanted to find a way to do that, but I wasn't encouraged by the results. The needle kept spinning around, and I remembered Tia Dalma's words about the compass when I was trying to find that key to the Dead Man's Chest. That either I don't know what I want, or I do know, but am reluctant to claim it for myself. I had to wonder if the latter was the case.

Matsu was, once again, another kettle of fish from her fellow crewmembers. While Kazehana was sultry and confident, and Akitsu was obliviously sexual to some degree (though she was certainly aware of sex and sexual pleasure, just not of social norms relating to it), Matsu was…well, you know Jiraiya from _Naruto_? So, instead of this big burly pervert with a massive mane of white hair and a thing for toads and tits, you have a red-haired shut-in nerd who nonetheless would give most models a run for their money. Oh, and she was openly perverted in a way that many pirates of my time were. She was like something out of a manga or anime.

That being said, Matsu was a font of information, and what was more, she and I shared an impish streak that manifested itself in a series of pranks against Minaka, including hacking his Sparrow Watch account and posting pictures of him in various states of undress. These, sadly, weren't doctored: apparently, like Akitsu, he had a bad habit of forgetting clothes…or maybe he did it to troll his underlings. Thanks to Matsu, I also got a more secure email for contacting my literary agent. And for all her perversion, Matsu was also a decent person.

We had a few dates where I got to know my Sekirei a little better. Then, a week later, at Kazehana's insistence, I took her to a love hotel. Matsu opted to wait her turn, even if she was somewhat impatient. Thankfully, she could run interference: the paparazzi had a tendency of targeting me lately, thanks to Minaka, and Matsu could send them on wild goose chases. Plus, she hacked the cameras on MBI appliances to get a voyeur's eye view of the action if she wanted. Akitsu stayed with her: I wanted to find a way of breaking her seal first. And I had a funny notion that I would need to consult with Tia Dalma on that score, if only to get an idea of what to do. Of course, leaving Shinto Teito and heading to the Caribbean was going to be a touch tricky, given Minaka's pronouncement about restricting the passage of any active Ashikabi (that was, one with one or more Sekirei Winged to them).

I could go into explicit detail about that debauched little romp, but to tell the truth, I'm not sure my literary prowess could handle that, and in any case, my memory was a touch fragmented. Let's just say it was bloody enjoyable, even if I was a touch tired and sore at the end of it (then again, the same could be said for my last tryst with Tia Dalma). I get the feeling that Kazehana had read up on various things to try out in anticipation for this day.

We were lying in bed the next morning, in a state of post-coital bliss, with Kazehana curled up next to me, tracing patterns on my chest. "I'm just curious," she said. "All that stuff you wrote about, you said it's true?"

I nodded. "Yep. I know, it's hard to believe. But the things I've seen…and you've seen the compass."

"Yes. I tried it out once, remember. And it pointed straight to you," she purred. "But…is there anyone else from that old life?"

I sighed. "As far as I know, the only one left is Tia Dalma. Remember the compass? Shortly before I came back here, she gave it back to me."

"Tia Dalma…as in, Calypso?"

"Yep. I think she got bored with remaining within the sea, and took up her old trade, mostly for the tourists these days, savvy?" I said. "Still the same Tia Dalma. The _Dutchman_ is still around, though I don't know whether it's Davy Jones at the helm or some other poor sap. But when the Trident of Poseidon was destroyed…well, a lot of the magic went away, given how it destroyed a lot of curses from the sea. And Beckett had Davy Jones kill the Kraken. Hell knows where the mermaids went to, Tia Dalma was a bit coy about that, though she claims a few took up modelling and acting careers. And Jack the monkey…well, his curse was lifted when the Trident was destroyed, but Tia Dalma somehow made him into her immortal pet."

"Do you think Tia Dalma can help Akitsu?"

I grinned. "I was thinking the exact same thing. But we can't leave Shinto Teito thanks to the mad eunuch. I doubt Matsu could run interference for us long enough to pop around to the Caribbean and back, even while Winged. There's no Sekirei with a teleport ability, are there?"

"The closest I can think of is Number 57, Yahan. She can transport herself via shadows, but to my knowledge, she can't do that over international distances. Anyway, the eunuch would have thought of that."

I almost laughed at her appropriation of my nickname for my sperm donor. But then, I just realised something. As much as Tia Dalma played up her reputation as a voodoo practitioner of a bygone age, she was not unaware of technology. And I had completely forgotten that she had scrawled an email address on a piece of paper for me. Bugger!

"Actually, I think I might be able to contact her," I said. "We'll do it when we get home…"

* * *

I took a photo of Akitsu's forehead, and attached it to the email, before sending it off to Tia Dalma. Disconcertingly, her laconic reply came very shortly afterwards. It read, simply, _Wait for me_.

Miya had been looking on, with Kazehana, with my blessing, explaining things, Homura off doing his superhero thing and Uzume visiting her Ashikabi. "Are you serious? Do you truly believe yourself to be the reincarnation of Captain Jack Sparrow?"

"Aye, aye, Fleet Admiral Asama," I said with a cheeky salute.

Miya, after a moment, said, "I would question your sanity but for a number of reasons. Firstly, I knew your father, and this, by comparison, is not that insane. Secondly, you act so much like Sparrow in your books, it feels less like you being in-character and more like you living it. Thirdly, you could say that I have some…experience with reincarnation(1), though nothing to do with Captain Sparrow's adventures."

"Experience?" I asked. "Is that to do with you being Numero Uno of the Sekirei?"

"I don't know what you mean," she said with a coy smile.

"Sure, and I'm Barbossa," I drawled.

"So, how did you write the things you weren't there for?" Miya asked, changing the subject.

"Asked a few of them at the time, like the Turners, and Gibbs, Barbossa, Pintel, Ragetti, even managed to ask old Bootstrap while I was on the _Dutchman_ …the rest, I did make up somewhat," I admitted. "It still has verisimilitude."

"So…" Matsu said, "you just emailed Calypso, the goddess of the ocean, and asked her to basically make a house call?"

"She and I go way back, and I'd like to think we're friends more than we're enemies," I said. "Just don't mention Davy Jones or the Brethren Court if you can help it, that's still a bit of a sore spot with her, even after a couple of centuries or so. And unlike Miya, she won't bother with intimidation or threats. Savvy?"

Miya looked thoughtful, as did Kazehana, while Matsu looked, understandably, sceptical. Akitsu looked impassive, or at least that's how she looked at first blush. In truth, she looked vaguely…anxious, even anticipatory. I couldn't blame her, given what she was dealing with.

This little tableau was interrupted when we heard a knock on the door. Miya got up and went to answer it, while Matsu, deciding that she couldn't be seen just in case, scurried back to her hidden room. Soon, Miya was escorting a couple of people in. Both of whom I knew very well, and both of whom I hadn't expected to see just yet.

One was a girl, about a year younger than me (counting only the years of this life, anyway), with short dark hair framing pretty features. The other was a woman, apparently in her twenties or thirties, though I knew better. Dark skin, dark eyes, dark hair, though unlike her usual affectation of a voodoo priestess, she was dressed in surprisingly modern dress, with jeans and a shirt. The shirt was _Jack Sparrow_ merchandise, and had, above a cartoonish drawing of Davy Jones, _I Luv Davy Jones_. For all the fact that he told the Brethren Court how to seal her into human form, and as capricious as she was, it seemed she still carried a torch for the misshapen monstrous malcontent.

It seemed that my sister, Yukari Sahashi, and Tia Dalma, aka Calypso, had come to visit, both at the same time. _Bugger_.

 **CHAPTER 6 ANNOTATIONS:**

 **So, there you have it. Minato/Jack is enjoying himself…but for how long? And now, Yukari, Tia Dalma, Miya and Minato/Jack are in the same room. Can you say,** ** _Light the blue touch paper and run like hell?_**

 **Reviw-answering time!** **fg7dragon** **: Well, it's funny you should mention that…guess who has come with Tia Dalma?**

 **myafroatemydog** **: I think Jack would probably piss Tsukiumi off something fierce.**

 **Artemis-Ikana** **: You're welcome. I believe it was the first summary I did in the first person in character. It took a bit of refining, partly due to the character limit…**

 **NecrorexSparda Juubi-no-Kishin** **: No omakes. As for Kusano and Homura, I'm strongly considering giving them to Yukari. Kusano gets her reunion with Shiina, and Homura gets the girl Ashikabi he wants. He's still going to be a gender-bender, though: I think Tia Dalma might just unlock an ability to change genders just for shits and giggles.**

 **VentXekart** **: Musubi's definitely being added to the crew. Tsukiumi is still a possibility, but I'll burn that bridge when we get to hit.**

 **1\. A bit of research suggested that Miya is somehow a reincarnation of Pillars past. I don't know enough about** ** _Sekirei_** **to do more than vaguely allude to it, but I thought this would help Miya believe Jack.**


	8. Chapter 7: Awkward Reunions

**CHAPTER 7:**

 **AWKWARD REUNIONS**

"Captain, would you like to introduce us to…these people?" Kazehana asked. She knew full well who they were, I was sure, but the treacherous wench was taking a perverse delight in watching me squirm.

" _Captain?_ " Yukari demanded incredulously. "You've got this woman calling you _Captain?_ "

"She's a fan, Yukari, savvy?" I said blithely. "Anyway, this is Yukari, my sister. And this is…"

"Penelope Jones(1)," Tia Dalma said. "I believe you be expectin' me?"

"I was expecting you two separately, not concurrently," I said with a shrug. "Anyway, this fine lady is Mrs Miya Asama, our landlady, this is Kazehana, my girlfriend, and this is…Yukari, what are you doing?"

As expected, Yukari had succumbed to her breast envy, and was currently groping Kazehana's mammaries. "They're so big!"

Sensing the malevolent aura of our landlady about to intervene, I said hurriedly, "Yukari, hands off that chest, please. That's my treasure you've got your greedy little mitts all over, savvy? And please don't touch Akitsu's either. The poor lass got drugged and kicked out of her home by a nasty sort who left her with nothing but the shirt on her back."

Yukari seemed about to object, until Miya brought out the old _Hannya_. "Lewd acts are NOT permitted in Maison Izumo, whether you are a guest or a tenant."

As Yukari released Kazehana's breasts, and scooted back with a squeak of fear, Tia Dalma watched the spectacle of the landlady making her presence known with a curious expression. "My, what an interestin' presence you have there, Mrs Asama. I haven't seen the likes of that for a long time."

"Hmm?" Miya asked, the _Hannya_ mask disappearing, and she had a not-so-innocent look on her face. "What presence?"

"Clear and presence danger is what I think," I muttered under my breath. I just barely managed to catch the ladle coming for my noggin, and looked askance at Miya, whose expression hadn't changed a single jot. "Look, Fleet Admiral, ladles are good as improvised weaponry, but at least wait until someone's actually coming at you to use it, savvy?"

Yukari, understandably, looked confused, and a little frightened, albeit towards Miya. Then, she latched onto something that would let her get back some control over the situation, or so she thought. "Minato, who is this Penelope? She claims she was friends with you while you were in the Caribbean."

"Ah, yes. Sorry, we did meet in the Caribbean," I said. "Penelope wanted to see Japan. I couldn't take her with me, but I said she'd be welcome to come here."

"I haven't been to Japan for a long time," Tia Dalma said with a smile. "You and your brother, you have a touch of destiny about you."

"He has a touch of _something_ ," Yukari said.

"Yukari, as the late, great Robin Williams once said, every person has a spark of madness that they shouldn't let go out," I said. "Anyway, you're one to talk about sanity, groping the breasts of a woman you just met. And don't give me that bollocks about it being different between two women. You're lucky that Kazehana is fairly easy-going."

"And Akitsu? Is she into BDSM or something? Is she a submissive with that chain?"

"I don't know. I try not to ask her about her past, as it's rather painful. Anyway, Mum told me that you're going to university?"

"Yep! Managed to get in at Shindong Women's University, first try!" she said with a grin.

And with that, I managed to deflect Yukari into small talk. She had really only stopped by to talk, as I had changed mobile numbers and email without warning. I told her that a fan had found out my details and released them on Sparrow Watch: namely Minaka. Now, my sister has a somewhat more direct approach to justice than most, and even if she couldn't exactly charge off into MBI and seek revenge, she still felt some self-righteous anger on my behalf, which was heartening.

Eventually, she looked at her watch, and grimaced. "Look, I'm sorry, Minato, but I've got things to do. Mum told me that, if something happened, if I got involved in 'the Game', whatever that was, I could possibly come here for help."

"As long as you do not commit any lewd acts, you will be welcome," Miya said primly. "That includes groping the breasts of a woman without their consent, regardless of your gender. Am I understood?"

Yukari nodded hurriedly. "It was nice seeing you." She made her farewells, and left.

Tia Dalma sighed quietly. "Now that she's out o'the way, I guess we can talk a little more freely?"

Kazehana raised an eyebrow. "And what about, may I ask?"

"Don' take me for a fool, little Wagtail," Tia Dalma said in her lilting accent. "I have lived long enough to see your ship run agroun' on this island Earth, to see t'other Wagtails fight in wars on land and sea. I know you know who I am. No doubt Jack's been indiscreet."

"Why were you here anyway, Tia Dalma?" I asked. "I only just sent the email."

"Oh, I left not long ago. Wherever the sea is, I travel, at least when I not bound to human form. From the ocean, I use transport. Your email arrived as I met Yukari in t'street," Tia Dalma said. "Why I am here, well, there be many reasons. The first is, your father in this life is very dangerous man. Him wants to bring about a new age of gods. People who talk like that are bad business. Second, I was worried 'bout you, Jack. Trouble dogs you, even in a new life. And third, well, I was bored."

"…The goddess of the sea came to Shinto Teito…out of boredom," Kazehana said flatly, her usual equilibrium rocked by that revelation. After a moment, she said, "I think I'm a little too sober for this situation."

"We can go for a drink later," Tia Dalma promised. "In any case, I take a look at this bird with the broken wings." She then walked over to Akitsu, sitting down and getting the Scrapped Number to face her.

"Excuse me," Miya said, looking somewhat bemused. "So, you are truly Calypso?"

"Indeed I am, Pillar of the Wagtails," Tia Dalma said. "We both have our reasons for bein' incognito, don' we?"

"Pillar?" I asked.

"It not be important now," Tia Dalma said with a careless wave of her hand. "What be important now is this girl. I'm glad him dead, the fool who did this to you, Akitsu."

"Umm…" I began, "what's the payment?"

"You'll see." Tia Dalma closed her eyes, then barked, in a voice that, while not loud, seemed to have the air of a statement of reality, " _KRAZE(_ _2)_ _!_ "

Akitsu's eyes widened, and she spasmed briefly, before slumping. Tia Dalma caught her as she fell, before gently angling her head to us. "See?"

We saw. That damned mark on her noggin was fragmenting, falling apart, and fading away. Kazehana gaped openly, while Miya hurried over to Akitsu. "Will she be all right?" she asked.

"She made of stern stuff," Tia Dalma said. "Jack attracts strange crew, but strong crew." Her eyes flickered over to Kazehana. "It's fittin' that him first Wagtail is one o'the wind, for him was always one t'go where the wind took him. That, and you both share a fondness for drink."

"Is that a compliment?" Kazehana asked.

"O'course it is, Kazehana," Tia Dalma said with a smile.

But then, Akitsu stirred. Her eyes blinked open. "Ah…it worked?"

Miya smiled, nodding. And then, she, along with everyone else, noticed the flushing, the heavy breathing. "So you are reacting?"

Akitsu nodded, and her eyes turned to me. "Captain…" she murmured, before padding around to me, and kissing me. Beautiful icy ethereal wings, like a snowflake magnified, burst from her back. As we broke off the kiss, she gazed deeply into my eyes, and said, "Number 07, Akitsu, is yours, now and forever."

I couldn't help but smile, and I could tell that Miya was glad as well. "I'd say welcome to the crew, sweetheart, but you were already part of it," I said, before frowning. "If MBI can monitor the Winging of each Sekirei, wouldn't they be in a touch of a panic by now?"

"Doubtlessly," Kazehana said. "I would hope that Minaka soils himself, but he's probably cackling away. I can all but hear him now."

"Let him laugh. He who laughs last laughs longest and hardest," I drawled. "Or however that goes. Are you going to stay in Shinto Teito, Tia Dalma?"

"O'course I am, Jack," Tia Dalma purred. "While my power is lessened on land, 'tis enough. I'm not gonna help you out too often, though. That be no fun. And if MBI learn of my existence, there's a small but significant chance they might try t'bind me, like t'Brethren Court did. Magic may be less in this world, but technology, especially that from the Wagtails' ship, are still possible threats. And Minaka, him crazy enough to try."

"Minato mentioned a payment?" Miya asked, worriedly.

Tia Dalma nodded. "Nothin' too steep. I want Jack t'topple Minaka."

If I had been drinking something, I would have spat it out. In fact, if I had been drinking rum and was sitting in front of a candle or something, I would have made one hell of a fireball. After a moment of spluttering, I said, "Nothing too steep? Last time, I managed to buy you off with an undead monkey!"

"And if I recall, Jack, you have faced worse than Minaka," Tia Dalma said. "My former paramour, for one. Cutler Beckett for another. And then there be Blackbeard, Salazar…"

"All right, all right, you've made your point! Or rather, you've made part of it clear! But…why me? I'm no hero."

"Exactly," Tia Dalma said. "You be a _pirate_. And what be that which pirates like you cherish most? Freedom. Minaka, him take away freedom from people, whether they be humans or Wagtails. All so him can play at bein' God. Him clip the wings of these Wagtails, perverting their purpose, their destiny, all for petty amusement." She gave Miya a look. "And their guardian, their Pillar, is broken by grief and loss, and even before then, had to step lightly lest she crush all in her path. You, Jack, you brought people around you t'change. The Turners, Norrington, Barbossa and his daughter, Gibbs, your crew…it is not just your actions that cause change, but bein' a catalyst too."

"Yeah, but not always for the better," I groused. My owning Salazar when I was a lad, Barbossa's greed for the Isla de Muerta's gold, my deal with Davy Jones, taking the virtue of Angelica…well, what there was of it, given how much she was Daddy's Little Girl…yeah, what changes I caused weren't always for the better. I wondered, in the end, how many of them were?

"Change is change, not always for t'better," Tia Dalma said. "Things always change. It's how we measure time. Take it from me, I have a lot of experience. Jack…I trust you. You do th'right thing, even if it's for your reasons. Besides…Minaka pissed you off."

"He does that," Kazehana said, scowling, a scowl shared by Miya and Akitsu.

"I will admit, giving my father in this life a bad time has certainly risen close to the top of my 'To Do' list," I drawled, trying desperately to claw back some control of the situation. And to be fair, giving the sperm donor a bad time was enticing. The question, was, how to do it? After all, the mad bastard was in charge of a corporation that effectively owned this city, if not the entirety of Japan. It had, according to Kazehana, a squad of Sekirei to act as their own little hit squad. And who knew what sorts of controls Minaka had over the Sekirei?

But he didn't know one thing. I was Captain Jack Sparrow in the last life, and while my skills with a blade were pretty rusty, my skills with getting myself into and out of scrapes weren't so much. I had a tongue in my mouth for talking my way out of things, a brain in my skull for thinking my way out of things, and a good pair of legs for running like hell away from things. Plus, I now had a crew of super-powered beauties that I would have killed to have in my old life. Well, Kazehana and Akitsu, anyway. I don't know what use Matsu would have been in a time when there was no such thing as computers, let alone the internet. I mean, aside from being a bed-warmer with perverted tendencies to put the wenches of Tortuga to shame, though I guess she could be a half-decent strategist, even without the internet. But in this day and age, she was a godsend.

"Fine, I'll do it," I said. "But this is more than enough payment for helping Akitsu, savvy?"

Tia Dalma smirked. "Oh, bringin' down Minaka is not the payment, Jack, though that will set you up with me for the rest o'your life."

Ah, unlimited credit with Tia Dalma, eh? Made sense. Though why did I have this sensation of dread creeping up on me?

"In any case, I stopped by a certain hospital," Tia Dalma said. "Healed a certain patient. Prevented more than a few troubles comin' your way."

Miya seemed to understand what Tia Dalma meant. "You healed Chiho?"

Tia Dalma nodded. "Chiho, she bein' used as leverage against Uzume, make Number 10 do th'dirty work of Izumi Higa. They preparin' to move here even as we speak. I saw that t'do so would help you, Jack. Uzume will help you bring down Minaka, Jack. As for payment…"

Bugger. That impish smirk didn't bode well. Especially when I heard a rather too-familiar chittering shriek. "Please don't tell me that's what I think it is."

"Who said anythin' about tellin'?" Tia Dalma said, before she snapped her fingers. And then, shimmering into existence on her shoulder was…

"GAH! Monkey!" I yelped as the critter leapt from Tia Dalma's shoulder and onto the table.

"If it makes you feel better, him had him shots, and him didn' like it one bit," Tia Dalma said. She then handed us a sheaf of papers. "And here be the stuff you need to keep him in Japan, customs paperwork, vet checks, etcetera."

"I never said I wanted the monkey!" I protested.

"Too bad. Him payment for helpin' Akitsu," Tia Dalma said, her smirk just screaming, _You're on your own_.

"Pets aren't allowed in Maison Izumo," Miya said.

"Him not a pet. Call him a…helper monkey?" Tia Dalma said. "Him live a very long time, so him smarter than most monkeys. Anyway, you can keep him in line with that mask thing. I like your style."

After a moment, Miya admitted, "I learned it from my late husband, Takehito."

"Ah, I see." After a moment, she waved a hand, and an envelope appeared, which she handed to Miya. "Read that tonight. It speaks to you and you alone, Pillar. And do nothin' rash when you read it."

Miya stared at the envelope. "Why?"

"You'll know. Everythin's in there. Your husband, him tell you to hang up your sword…but Jack and him crew, they can be your sword in your stead," Tia Dalma said.

"How can you know that?" Miya asked, disturbed, before Tia Dalma shot her a look. "Oh yes, I forgot I was speaking to a deity."

"I'm not omniscient, Pillar, or else I'd have known the treachery of my lover and the Brethren Court," Tia Dalma said, her demeanour becoming solemn. "But some things, I see very clear. I can't see th'future, only possibilities. I can't see all your pasts, and yet, I see things…like the things that hurt you. T'tip my hand is to risk my sealin' again, and I refuse to countenance that, so I cannot attack MBI directly." Then, she gave a rather warm smile, a contrast to her solemn demeanour mere seconds before, or the flirtatious smile she habitually wore. "But I have faith in you all. Goodbye, all of you."

"Hang on a minute!" I protested as Tia Dalma walked out. "Take the damned monkey with you!"

"Nah!" Tia Dalma said with a laugh as she walked out the door. Oh, joy. And given the look that damned monkey was giving me, it seemed set to cause some mischief. I could only hope that Miya could keep the damned animal in line…

 **CHAPTER 7 ANNOTATIONS:**

 **So, some exposition, Tia Dalma healing people, and Jack the Monkey returns! And yes, he's still undead. Well, rendered undead again. I presume that, due to the events of** ** _Dead Men Tell No Tales_** **, he got rendered alive again. Or maybe he stayed undead anyway. Who knows? That's one tenacious monkey.**

 **Damn, it was hard writing Tia Dalma. I originally wanted her to be another Ashikabi, even Winging Homura and maybe Kusano, but I realised, Tia Dalma, unleashed, is too much of an OP character. That, plus her accent (even removing the 't's turned to 'd's didn't help much, and I found it hard to write her Jamaican-style patois), ensures that she will only appear every so often.**

 **Next chapter, Musubi! Which won't be out for a while, incidentally.**

 **Review-answering time! A couple of you think that Jack is somewhat OOC, but remember that this is Jack having lived a life partially as Minato, so any deviations from the Jack of the films is acceptable.**

 **Master Kancer of Dank** **: Hmm, tempting. He'd need to get the ships from somewhere, though…**

 **waytodawn0** **: At the moment, I don't have any plans for any other reincarnations, so, no reincarnated Barbossa, Angelica, Turners, Gibbs, etc.**

 **1\. Jones should be self-evident, given her former lover, but I thought Penelope was quite clever. You see, in mythology, Calypso was a nymph who became a lover of Odysseus. And what was the name of Odysseus' actual wife? Penelope.**

 **2\. Okay, I admit, I punched this one into Google Translate. 'Kraze' is what I found when I translated 'shatter' into Haitian Creole.**


	9. Chapter 8: Rescuing Musubi

**CHAPTER 8:**

 **RESCUING MUSUBI**

For a few days there was, thankfully, precious little incident. True, the undead monkey whom Barbossa gave my name to had tried mischief, but Miya managed to cow the damned thing with her aura and _Hannya_ mask. And wasn't I grateful for that?

Uzume came back with wonderful news. Her Ashikabi, a girl by the name of Chiho, had made a miraculous recovery, and was even now about to move out of hospital and come to stay at Maison Izumo. And after what Tia Dalma said, Miya managed to get out of Uzume that Higa had been forcing her to terminate a number of Sekirei, in exchange for treating Chiho. Higa might try something to bring Uzume under his control again, which was why she was bringing Chiho, an orphan, here.

Miya had become rather morose after reading that letter, though she never said what she read in it. Though I get the feeling Tia Dalma may have made Miya an offer: Tia Dalma, after all, could bring back the dead within reason, and perhaps she could do the same to Takehito. I didn't bring up the issue, as I could tell that Takehito was a sore point with Miya, and while I loved to provoke her, I didn't do it to the point of suicidal ideation. However, I think my teasing of her in other areas helped cheer her up. That, and Akitsu being able to be Winged.

I do have to wonder, though, what was a Sekirei Pillar? Was that a fancy term for saying she was the queen bee or something?

It was also during this period of time that I met Kaoru Seo and his little twin-threesome fantasy Sekirei, Hikari and Hibiki, AKA the Lightning Twins. They had come to Maison Izumo to mooch off Miya. Kaoru Seo wasn't too bad a cove, he was just a touch too lazy and opportunistic. I'd had worse people as part of my crew. I was a bit more wary of his Sekirei, though Hibari, the slightly less buxom sister, wasn't too bad. It was Hikari, the hot-headed one, I was more wary of. While not Single Numbers, their electrical attacks were still extremely potent.

Seo was also a fan and, joy of joys, he went on Sparrow Watch. So he knew of my identity as Jack Teague, and had brought around his books to sign. I did so reluctantly, but at least he was no fanboy. And he made no pretence of not intending to sell some of the books on eBay. He needed the money, and I couldn't begrudge him that, Miya's attitude towards him aside. I did tell him, though, that if he blabbed about my current address, I would let Akitsu turn him into a block of ice and have Miya, who still practised her swordsmanship, do a bit of ice sculpture carving. I think Miya actually liked the threat. I also warned the Lightning Twins that I wouldn't stand for it if I saw them attacking Unwinged Sekirei.

And as for my crew? Well, we got a bit more openly affectionate at the Maison Izumo, albeit as far as we could push the boundaries with the Fleet Admiral present. Kazehana didn't seem jealous, miracle of miracles, about the additions made to the crew. In fact, I think the only one who was at all jealous about the competition was Matsu. Akitsu, even once she was Winged, remained somewhat impassive and stoic, though she also had a certain affectionate nature that could have been called clingy if it was more overt. In truth, I think she was scared of being discarded again.

I actually got into contact with Mikogami again, and, wonder of wonders, he took my little talk to heart. He had managed to Wing a Sekirei by the name of Yashima who had just been about to be Winged by a serial sex offender, and apparently the hammer-wielding girl had reacted to Mikogami. So Mikogami claimed. He and I came to an agreement: any big Sekirei who got announced, he would agree to cooperate with me to fend off any other Ashikabi. If a Sekirei reacted to him, he would claim her. If they reacted to me…well, you get the idea.

I also was contacted by Haihane and, after considerable debate with Miya, who was loath to allow any member of the Discipline Squad at Maison Izumo, we agreed to let her visit. After all, Matsu was no longer obligated to stay in the house, as long as she didn't try to fence whatever thing she nicked from MBI. I found her a surprisingly endearing lass, and I have to admit, her fanfiction based on the books was actually decent. She at least knew how to spell and use good grammar, though she had an odd habit of shipping me…well, the old me with Anamaria. She left my crew shortly before that business with Davy Jones, having managed to find a ship and a crew of her own.

Anyway, Haihane was nice, once you got past the creepy looks. We spent a merry afternoon debating my books, as well as our favourite TV series. I have to say, I managed to get her hooked on _Doctor Who_. The irony of an alien getting into a science fiction series about a time-travelling alien amused me. Especially as Matsu and, surprisingly, Miya were fans: Matsu called Karasuba, in one of her more facetious remarks about the Black Sekirei, a 'Dalek with tits'. And Miya certainly had a bit of a thing for Peter Davison, Paul McGann, and David Tennant. Apparently Takehito introduced her to the show.

Sooner or later, I was going to take Akitsu to a love hotel to have some fun, and then, Matsu. As much as I liked the glasses-wearing Sekirei once she had calmed down a little, Akitsu had been added to my crew before her. But our plans got scuppered one fine day…

* * *

I had decided to take Akitsu and Kazehana to a nice lunch that day. Matsu, finally, had decided to come with us, probably the first time she had been openly out and about Shinto Teito since she decided to nick whatever it was she nicked. I think she took some succour from my bold swagger.

During our meal, we discussed what we were going to do for the Sekirei Plan. Unofficially, I was considered the Ashikabi of the North. I was now in open alliance with Mikogami, who was considered the Ashikabi of the South. The Ashikabi of the West, one Nishi Sanada, wasn't of concern, according to Matsu. It was the Ashikabi of the East, Izumi Higa, that we were concerned about most. He had, after all, blackmailed Uzume into being on his payroll, and while we had managed to remove his leverage by healing Chiho, Higa seemed like the sort of evil bastard who wouldn't take that lying down. Matsu was keeping an eye on him, not least because one of the Sekirei under his command (well, a Sekirei belonging to his dogsbody) had similar abilities to Matsu.

We were also going to coordinate with Homura so that, if things got dicey with some Sekirei picking off Unwinged ones, we could step in if he was too far away. I have to admit, despite his being a bit too calm and assured for my liking, I did like Homura. He was like Will, only with a bit more sense and assuredness.

On our way back from the restaurant (Kazehana insisted on paying her part, along with that of the other Sekirei, with her MBI credit card, something I agreed to, mostly as the sperm donor would be footing the bill), my phone trilled. Only a few people knew the new number, and the caller ID showed it to be Homura. "Hello, Homura, what's wrong?" I asked.

" _Number 88, Musubi, was released not long ago_ ," Homura said, getting straight to the point. " _I was dealing with another incident elsewhere: Tsukiumi distracted me. I may not be able to get to Musubi in time. She's probably being attacked by Hikari and Hibiki. Intercept them, please._ "

"I savvy, mate," I said. "D'you know where she is?"

" _Ask Matsu. I'm on my way to where they may be. Though Hikari and Hibiki aren't necessarily discreet about their powers._ "

I suddenly heard a crack, not unlike thunder, and I saw a purple flare on a nearby roof. "I think they're here, mate. I'll rescue the bonny lass, or at least keep Seo's wenches occupied until you can get here. Bye."

"Trouble?" Kazehana asked.

"Homura just asked us to help out a Sekirei being set upon by Seo's little wet dream twins," I said. "Matsu, can you see where they are?"

"I don't need satellites," Matsu said, pointing to one of the nearby rooftops. There were three figures, two of which had purple lightning crackling around their hands. The other figure leapt off the roof, and onto another.

"Okay, let's intercept them. Kazehana, you carry me. Akitsu, carry Matsu. Once we've intercepted them, Akitsu, wall off the Lightning Twins, and let's reassure Musubi…"

With Kazehana carrying me and Akitsu carrying Matsu, we managed to race ahead of the trio of Sekirei on the roofs, before leaping onto the next one they were about to jump onto. The moment we were on the roof, Akitsu created a wall of ice between Musubi and the Lightning Twins as they leapt onto it. Musubi halted, unsure whether we were friend or foe…and presumably whether I might be her Ashikabi. Meanwhile, the Lightning Twins were looking at us rather venomously. This was only my second time meeting them, and the first time, they had been dressed normally. I had to admit, those outfits left little to the imagination.

"Now, can I suggest we chill out before I have Akitsu put you on ice?" I asked, before cringing at the godawful puns I'd just made. Seriously, had I just committed such egregious offences against the laws of comedy?

"What's the big idea, punk?" Hikari snapped.

"The big idea, Hikari, is that I warned you that I would try to look out for the Unwinged Sekirei. Homura and I have a gentleman's agreement, savvy? Now, need I remind you of who I have in my crew? Hibiki, you're the sensible one, could you persuade your rather irritable sister that you are outnumbered?"

"Look, we're trying to take Unwinged Sekirei out of the game. It's better that they don't get Winged, and lose their bond with their Ashikabi when they're deactivated," Hibiki said with a sigh. "Anyway, what can Matsu do?"

Matsu huffed. "I can hijack one of the weapons satellites and turn you into a whiff of hydrogen, ozone and carbon dioxide(1)."

"Bitch, I'll fry you before you can do it!" Hikari snarled, before Kazehana made a gesture. Akitsu had brought down the ice wall in time for a blast of wind to send Hikari flying into a nearby air-conditioning block, hard enough to dent it, as well as to cause Hikari to slur, "Did anyone get the number of that _bitch?_ "

"03, Kazehana," Kazehana said with a smirk.

"Thank you," slurred Hikari, as she got shakily to her feet(2).

Hibiki scampered over to her sister in concern, and hissed, "We'd better get going, sis."

"Uhh, fine," Hikari said, almost drunkenly thanks to a mild concussion. She glared at them, before allowing her sister to help her away.

We heard a squeal of delight from behind us, and I turned to find Musubi looking awed. "That was amazing!" she chirped.

"You're Musubi, right?" Kazehana asked.

"Yep, Number 88, Musubi, at your service!" she cheered.

I have to admit, Musubi was energetic. It did rather interesting things to her breasts as she bounced around from foot to foot, excited. She was a buxom lass (but then again, most Sekirei were, so that wasn't unusual by any means) with brown hair and eyes, dressed in a rather sexualised version of a shrine maiden's costume, with a very short skirt. On her fists were red padded gloves. So, she looked like something out of _Street Fighter_ or _Dead or Alive_ or _King of Fighters_. Then again, most Sekirei costumes looked like they had come straight from a video game. Then again, I was in some weird harem dating sim in real life, so…I was just going to roll with it.

"So, Musubi, are you out looking for your Ashikabi?" Kazehana asked.

Musubi nodded eagerly. "Yep! But those meanies wanted to fight me, before I was ready! Okay, I really, _really_ want to fight, but only once I find my Ashikabi!"

I looked at my crew. We didn't really need to say anything, so they nodded, and I then said, "Well, if you come with us, we'll keep you safe until you find him or her. There's a couple of rather unscrupulous Ashikabi who try to force you to Wing them. Of course, if you actually have a reaction, then you're welcome to join my crew, but only if you have a reaction. Savvy?"

Now, that admittedly was a bit too simple. Musubi, if she had any sense, would have been suspicious of such an offer. All she did, though, was to peer at us, before nodding. "Okay, let's go!"

"All right, but the place we're taking you to, well, the landlady doesn't appreciate any sex or violence. So, keep decent and don't pick any fights, and I'm sure she'd get along swimmingly with you. Savvy?"

Musubi nodded again. And soon, we were off again, with me pausing only to give Homura a quick phone call, telling him that Musubi was fine and dandy. I have to say, he was pretty grateful. Then again, even the best superhero can't be everywhere at once.

Still, I had to wonder, would Musubi join my crew? I guess it was up to whether she reacted to me or not…

 **CHAPTER 8 ANNOTATIONS:**

 **Well, no. Not really.**

 **You see, I don't like Musubi as a character. I like characters to have more intelligence than Musubi shows. While I won't bash her, I didn't have her front and centre for** ** _Wings of the Forsaken_** **, and I think she would bring Minato/Jack down somewhat. That's why I'm going to need a little help from you guys, the readership.**

 **I'm still going to give Musubi an Ashikabi. But said Ashikabi is going to be either Chiho (assuming Uzume doesn't mind sharing) or Yukari.**

 **I also need help with deciding Kusano's Ashikabi. I've decided that, while Minato/Jack is still going to be instrumental in her rescue, he won't be Winging her. Because I've laid down the framework for a far less nasty Mikogami (who in this story won't be responsible for attacking Takami through his Sekirei while trying to capture Kusano: I'm considering one of Higa's agents doing so), I'm going to give him the chance to Wing her. Either him, or Yukari.**

 **Which means you guys can choose the following Ashikabi for these Sekirei:**

 **Musubi: Chiho or Yukari**

 **Kusano: Mikogami or Yukari**

 **Yukari, incidentally, will Wing not only Shiina, but also Homura. Those are the definite members of her Flock.**

 **Review-answering time!** **DocSlendy** **: Wait and see…**

 **ZLC genesmith** **: Thanks. I'm glad you loved it so far…**

 **DalkonCledwin** **: Jack didn't have relations with Yukari…beyond as normal a relationship you can get between a reincarnated pirate and a bro-con with breast envy. No incest. The whole 'titanium balls' thing used by Uzume is common in** ** _Sekirei_** **fanfic, with a notable example being in gabriel blessing's** ** _Fate/Stay Night_** **crossover** ** _In Flight_** **.**

 **1\. Matsu's threat is a reference to** ** _The Hitch-Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy_** **, where these chemicals are what the Vogon demolition beams reduce people to.**

 **2\. A reference to lines spoken by Vegeta and Android 18 in episode 39 of** ** _Dragonball Z Abridged_** **, after the latter hits the former into a cliff-face.**


	10. Chapter 9: Two Wingings for the Price of

**CHAPTER 9:**

 **TWO WINGINGS FOR THE PRICE OF ONE**

We managed to make our way back home with little trouble. On the way home, I took the time to call Homura and tell him we managed to rescue Musubi from Hikari and Hibiki. As far as I could tell, Musubi wasn't showing the typical signs of reacting, and considering I already had a fairly large crew already, if she was going to react, it probably would have happened by now. So we were going to bring Musubi back to Maison Izumo, and figure out what to do from there. I called Miya with words to that effect.

We soon made it back, with Miya waiting. "Welcome back, 'Captain'," she said with a welcoming smile, though it was a cheeky one, given the way she said 'captain'. "I see we have yet another stray."

And then, the damned monkey clambered up onto her shoulder and emitted a chittering shriek at me. Oh dear Calypso, she had actually tamed it. "Umm, yes, Fleet Admiral," I said. "May I present to you Number 88, Musubi."

"It's good to meet you, Musubi," Miya said with a welcoming smile.

"Me too!" Musubi cheered.

"Well, it's nice to see someone enthusiastic come here. But I will need to remind you, Musubi, that no violence is permitted within these walls. If you wish to fight beyond a friendly spar, you will take it off the property. A number of Sekirei, Unwinged and Winged, live here under my aegis, and I will not tolerate them coming to any harm. Am I understood?" And there she went, leaking that damned aura of hers again. Not quite letting the _Hannya_ out to play, but certainly at stage one of her intimidation technique.

"I understand!" Musubi said.

"Good. In addition, no lewd activities shall be undertaken of any kind, save between married couples. Am I understood?"

"Umm, what does 'lewd' mean?" Musubi asked, cocking her head.

As Kazehana and Matsu approached, apparently eager to address these shortcomings in Musubi's knowledge, Miya looked at them sharply, before she said, "Perhaps I should discuss this in private with Musubi."

"Deprive us of our entertainment, why don't you?" I muttered mutinously, only for Miya to bring her attention to me. And yep, Old Faithful the _Hannya_ mask peeked out from behind her. And to my amusement, the monkey saw it, did a double take, leapt off her shoulder with a shriek, and landed, sprawling, on the ground, before skittering into the house chittering the simian equivalent of _Oh shit oh shit oh shit!_

Ah, good times.

* * *

It was not long afterwards that my sister decided to come to visit. Apparently partially out of boredom, Yukari decided to come around, if only to pester her big brother. Now, keep in mind, she hadn't actually met Matsu yet until today. I have the feeling that, if I hadn't Winged Matsu, then Yukari would have done so herself somehow, and they would have spent many a happy hour groping each other. As it was, Yukari seemed set on giving Matsu embarrassing childhood stories as blackmail material, much to my annoyance, Kazehana's amusement, and Akitsu's bafflement.

"…And that was how he came to be banned from Mos Burger," Yukari said.

"That ban was overturned years ago, Yukari," I groaned. "I sat down with the management of that store and nutted things out, savvy?"

"You still got banned in the first place thanks to that rubber mouse toy and the wasabi paste," Yukari pointed out smugly.

I was frankly glad when Miya chose that moment to come back in with a blushing Musubi, who had apparently been given The Talk by Miya. "Oh? Is this something I should hear about, Minato?"

My 'no' just barely managed to drown out Yukari's 'yes'. "Yukari's basically trying to be Charles Augustus Milverton(1)," I drawled. My eyes flickered over to Musubi, before I asked, "Umm, Miya, did you happen to spar with her by any chance? Only she's breathing really hard and OH BUGGER!"

The reason for my exclamation at the end there was that Musubi had begun to get even more flushed, breathing heavily, and then suddenly lunged for my sister, locking lips with her in a snog. Pink wings of ethereal energy sprouted from her back as Musubi made a rather sensuous noise that sounded like she had come, _hard_.

Bugger bugger **_bugger_**. This was a minor disaster. Yukari had just Winged a Sekirei. Okay, odds were good that she was going to do so anyway, but now she was drawn into this competition, where she would potentially be in danger…oh, and she now had a potentially-willing victim to molest. Bugger.

* * *

Yukari was staring at us afterwards when Matsu and I, with corroboration from Miya, explained what was going on. "So…I'm now trapped in this battle royale between these Sekirei and their Ashikabis? Geez, Minato, this sounds like something from one of your books."

"I never wrote about harems, Yukari, nor about alien women from another world," I said. "In any case, Mum's involved as one of MBI's key scientists, savvy? Incidentally, if the phone rings, take it outside. Hopefully, Minaka won't use the…oh, bugger."

The television had just turned on, revealing the grinning face of Minaka. Miya looked like she wanted nothing more than to slash the TV apart. Musubi's reaction, however, was more enthusiastic. "Hi, Professor!" she chirped.

" _Ah, Number 88! It's good to see you hale and hearty, Musubi! Ah, and Yukari Sahashi! It's a pleasure to talk to you._ "

Now, I hadn't told Yukari about the fact that Minaka was our sperm donor yet. I had just given her the necessary details about the Sekirei Plan. "Umm, thanks?" Yukari asked.

" _You're welcome! Ah, and Minato…rather discourteous of you to refuse to sign my books after I went out of my way to help you connect with your fans._ "

"It's rather discourteous to breach my privacy, savvy?"

" _Ah, well, no matter. I bought Seo's copies off eBay_ ," Minaka said with a shrug. " _Anyway_ …"

"Look, we've told Yukari the pertinent details of the Sekirei Plan," I said with a groan. "And yes, that includes the secrecy and no leaving Shinto Teito bits. Technically, that means your presence here is redundant. Savvy?"

Minaka pouted rather childishly. " _Spoil my fun why don't you? I can see that you get it from your mother._ "

"You're the one holding the bloodsport between aliens so you can masturbate to the carnage, mate," I drawled. "Anyway, I love being the fly in other people's ointments. So, I'll keep my sister apprised, and you can bugger off and be crazy to someone who'll actually enjoy it, motherfucker. Savvy?"

Minaka stared, before gesturing curtly in a manner that seemed distinctly sulky. The picture cut off in time for me to cop a ladle to the noggin. "Ow! What was that for, Fleet Admiral?" I asked Miya.

"For vulgar language," Miya replied.

"He deserves it, doesn't he? Besides, _technically_ , my usage of the term 'motherfucker' was literal." I caught the next ladle coming my way. "It's unhygienic to do that."

"Wait a moment, Minato," Yukari said. "When you said…he was a literal motherfucker…did you mean…?"

"Apparently, yes," I said. "That crazy eunuch is our sperm donor, apparently. Mum confirmed it. I sent her flowers as apology for dealing with my attitude on top of his."

Yukari stared blankly at me. Understandable. After all, that sort of thing didn't have much gravitas. You know, there was no Darth Vader saying, ' ** _I_** _am your father_ ' with all the solemnity of a law of physics being declared.

The moment was promptly ruined by another ladle hitting my noggin. "Miya! I didn't use the word!" I complained.

"But Yukari did," Miya said.

"So why not hit her?" I demanded incredulously.

"My aim must be rusty," Miya lied, not at all convincingly. "In any case, you called Minaka a sperm donor."

"And what was wrong with that?"

"It's too good a title for him, vulgar though it is."

Ah. She had a point there.

* * *

We decided to retire outside for the moment, while Yukari could get more of a handle on the moment. Eventually, she asked, "Mrs Asama, where do you fit in all this?"

"My husband was a researcher at MBI," Miya said.

I very nearly decided to tell Yukari then and there that Miya was also a Sekirei herself, and probably the Queen Bee herself, or whatever Tia Dalma meant by Miya being the Pillar, but I realised that Musubi was an unknown factor. Musubi was impulsive and a bit on the childish side to say the least, so she might not understand the meaning of the word 'discretion'. Which annoyed me somewhat. I wanted to give Yukari as much info as possible, Miya's annoyance with me on the issue of her Sekirei-ship be damned.

"She also has…issues with the eunuch," I said. "In any case, she knows quite a bit. Now, let's get to the point. There's basically three top Ashikabi for every point on the compass for Shinto Teito. Nishi Sanada of the West isn't an issue, as far as we can tell. Hayato Mikogami was an issue, but I think I've managed to make him an ally of sorts. However, it's the Ashikabi of the East we need to look out for. He's Izumi Higa, some heir to a pharmaceutical company that got screwed over by MBI. He's like Cutler Beckett."

Matsu nodded in agreement. "If any other Sekirei react to you, Wing them. The more, the better. Minato was lucky in that he managed to Wing three Single Numbers: myself, Kazehana, and Akitsu. Admittedly, I'm not as good out in the field, but Kazehana and Akitsu, well…"

"Wow," Yukari said, shaking her head. "Anything else I should look out for?"

"The Discipline Squad," Kazehana said. "Matsu and I were on the very first iteration of it, along with our leader, as well as Mutsu, the main Sekirei of Mikogami, and Karasuba, who is the current leader."

"Oh, Karasuba!" Musubi chirped. "I know her very well! We're great friends." She said this with a cheerful smile.

Miya, along with my Sekirei, stared at her in disbelief, before Miya said, albeit in a tight voice, "Leaving that aside, Karasuba is Number 04. She is ruthless and detests humanity. She and I…have had a falling out, so I would thank you both not to mention her in my presence. The other two members, to my knowledge, are Number 104, Haihane, and Number 105, Benitsubasa. Haihane is the only member of the Discipline Squad to be allowed here. You'll know her by her short silver hair, bandaged body, and, if she's wearing them, clawed gauntlets. Benitsubasa has pink hair and a rather belligerent attitude, and, while a Fist Sekirei like Musubi, also uses Earth-based attacks. I'd strongly suggest avoiding antagonising them, especially Karasuba."

Yukari nodded. "Got it. Anyone else we should know about?"

"Well, there's a couple of other Sekirei staying here as not part of my crew," I said. "Uzume and her Ashikabi Chiho, and there's an Unwinged guy called Homura. Call him Kagari when he's here. He has reasons."

"So there are guys in the Sekirei?" Yukari asked.

"A few," Miya said.

And then, we heard, "Miya, I'm home." Speak of the devil.

"We're out here," Miya called.

Yukari gaped when she saw Homura walk out, dressed in his all-black guardian garb, albeit with the mask pulled down. I knew what she was thinking: _OMG, it's a_ _ **bishounen**_ _!_

"Thanks, Minato, for helping Musubi out," Homura said in his soft, vaguely feminine voice. "Tsukiumi was something of a…handful…" He began flushing, and breathing heavily, clutching at his chest as smoke began to waft from his form. "What…what's this?"

"Homura, have you taken the medicine?" Matsu demanded.

Homura nodded, panicking. "Of course I did! But…I must be reacting!" He looked at me, and then at Yukari, before he breathed something like a sigh of relief, even as he kept breathing hard. "You…you must be my Ashikabi…"

"Whoa, I get more than one as well?!" Yukari demanded incredulously.

"Kiss him, Yukari!" Miya yelled. I hadn't seen Miya look this worried. "His reacting to you is playing havoc with his control!"

Yukari, after a moment's hesitation, grabbed Homura's face and locked lips with him. Almost immediately, fiery wings blasted from his back. Then, after that, when they separated, Homura was looking at Yukari with what had to be relief.

Afterwards, when the wings had died down and Homura, like Musubi earlier, had made his pledge to Yukari, the male Sekirei wiped his brow. "Thank goodness," he muttered. "The way things were going, I thought I was going to be Winged by a man."

"Nothing wrong with that, mate, unless you're not into it," I said with a shrug. "You still going to work at a host's club?"

Homura looked at Yukari, who shrugged. "As long as the clients don't go too far…" She then grinned, and got right up in his face. "Cause you're mine, now and forever, remember?"

I snickered at the look on Homura's face. "Well, look at it this way, Yukari, you've got yourselves a smoking hot guy that Mum won't object to. Literally, smoking hot."

A wave of chuckles filled the backyard at that, though Homura wasn't laughing, and Musubi looked confused. Even the usually straitlaced Miya tittered, and Akitsu chuckled softly. Still, I suppose that was one of the more lighthearted times we had. Of course, things would get complicated very soon, when my mother ran into trouble, courtesy of Izumi Higa…

 **CHAPTER 9 ANNOTATIONS:**

 **Okay, well, the results are in. A lot of people voted for Musubi going with Yukari, and Kusano going with Mikogami, though some gave contrary opinions, albeit backed up with evidence. Thanks for the unofficial vote, guys. So, Yukari has just gotten two Sekirei for the price of one.**

 **Next chapter, rescuing Kusano!**

 **Oh, before I go onto the review-answering, I want to do some shameless plugging. If you enjoyed this, why not have a look at** ** _Quatermass' Compost Heap_** **via my profile? I recently posted the first two chapters of a brand new** ** _Sekirei_** **crossover…with the Cthulhu Mythos. And it's a bit on the cracky side, even if it's Lovecraft Lite. Look for** ** _Madness, Chaos and Wagtails_** **.**

 **Review-answering time!** **myafroatemydog** **: Chiho had already Winged the Cloth Sekirei or Veiled Sekirei, which is Uzume.**

 **jgkitarel** **: Rest assured, Shiina and Kusano will still meet again.**

 **Legionnas** **: That's probably going to happen, after the business with Kusano. Because Minaka basically told people there was a Sekirei up for grabs, first come, first serve, and she was a little kid, Minato/Jack gets pissed. He and the monkey reach an accord, and so, Jack the Monkey will be wreaking havoc at MBI.**

 **1\. Milverton was one of Sherlock Holmes' most infamous opponents, a vicious and unrepentant blackmailer, from** ** _The Adventure of Charles Augustus Milverton_** **. Arthur Conan Doyle based Milverton on art dealer and blackmailer Charles Augustus Howell. Milverton was changed into media mogul Charles Augustus Magnusson in the** ** _Sherlock_** **episode** ** _His Last Vow_** **.**


	11. Chapter 10: Making Plans

**CHAPTER 10:**

 **MAKING PLANS**

The next morning, Matsu, Kazehana, Akitsu, and Homura were gathered, along with my sister and I, for something of a strategy meeting. Musubi was being handily distracted by Miya, who had promised to spar with her. So, with Musubi out of the way, my sister (who had headed back to her apartment overnight, with Musubi in tow, only to come back this morning) could be brought up to speed on delicate matters.

"Now, leaving aside the revelations that you heard yesterday," I drawled, "there's one extra thing that you need to remember. Miya is not human. She's a Sekirei herself. I didn't say it in front of Musubi because, well, she doesn't look like she can keep a secret to save her life."

"I'd be more angry at you, Minato, but, well, you're right. I mean, Musubi's a good girl, but when Mum rang me last night, Musubi blurted out that I was dressing her in my old school uniforms," Yukari said.

Homura looked at me in annoyance. "Is this necessary?"

"Look, mate, Yukari and I may not always get along, but I'll be damned if I let her sail into Davy Jones' Locker without having the right information, savvy? Miya is Number 01. That is how Maison Izumo can maintain its neutrality, I reckon. She's also, to my knowledge, not taking part in this little tournament the eunuch set up," I said.

"I'm still getting over the fact that Hiroto Minaka is our father. Yeesh, no wonder Mum didn't want to talk about it. But why doesn't Miya want to participate?" Yukari asked.

"Who knows? I personally think that the wounds of grief are still open and weeping, or perhaps there's some blackmail involved. The point is, she is our ally, even if she's not going to take to the field overtly," I said. "Anyway, our concern is with the Sekirei Plan proper. Matsu?"

The redheaded hacker nodded. "Only Minaka himself knows the full details of the Sekirei Plan, and even I haven't been able to get much more out of MBI's servers than this. The first stage is basically the release of the 108 Sekirei, barring of course Miya and the Discipline Squad. Once 90% of them are Winged or deactivated, the second stage begins. Minaka will take absolute control over Shinto Teito and then announce the Sekirei Game publicly. The third stage begins once 100% of the Sekirei are Winged or deactivated. It's a series of battles between the Sekirei, but I can't find out all the details. I think Minaka's deliberately keeping his plans on paper to prevent me from hacking anything from his servers."

"It's a perversion of what Takehito originally intended," Homura said bitterly. "Minaka is someone I have sworn to kill for what he did to my people. Of course, he views my threats, along with the plight of our existence, as one big joke."

"Everything's a big joke to him," Kazehana said. "Including my own confession of love towards him."

"Wait, you fell in love with our father?" Yukari asked. "And you took on Minato instead?"

"What can I say? He had a way with words, and I began reacting to him. I haven't regretted it either." Kazehana's lascivious smirk was soon replaced with a more serious expression. "That being said, we're looking to disrupt the Sekirei Plan, or at least Minaka's perversion of it. Don't get me wrong, we have a desire to fight, many of us, but not all of us do. Our main impulse is to find our Ashikabi. Speaking of which…" She looked over at Matsu, who nodded, and set up a laptop on the table, opening it up and playing a video, showing an overgrown park.

"Wasn't that the morning news?" Yukari asked. "I saw that. Something about MBI testing a new plant growth chemical or something."

I frowned when I saw the footage, of one of the city parks being overgrown with all sorts of plants. It had effectively turned into a forest. I hadn't seen vegetation so thick and entangled since my visit to Tia Dalma in the Caribbean. "If you're showing us this now, that means there's a Sekirei involved," I mused.

"Yes. I've managed to find out who, too," Matsu said, pulling up a file. The picture showed a girl, maybe six or seven, dressed in a simple smock-like dress. She had long, shaggy blonde hair and green eyes. Cute, but too young for my liking, obviously. "Number 108, Kusano. Special powers, influence over lifeforce in general, though her specialty is growing plants, as you might have guessed. Kusano and another Sekirei, Number 107, or Shiina, have been adjusted together. Your mother was in the habit of taking Kusano out to parks on Number 108's request. Late yesterday afternoon, Takami took Kusano out on another excursion…only, they were intercepted."

"What?!" Yukari and I yelled simultaneously.

"Who hurt them?!" Yukari demanded.

"Well, I've managed to get a hold of your mother's debriefing while in hospital for her injuries," Matsu said. "She was attacked by a small group of Sekirei that included one called Sai, who gave her her injuries. The Sekirei described match some of those Winged by Izumi Higa. Your mother is fine, the injuries she got were mostly superficial. Well, except for the fact that she's lost an eye."

"You call 'losing an eye' fine," Yukari said flatly. I had to confess to agreeing with that. Losing an eye was no small thing for a pirate, no matter what the books and movies claim.

Matsu shrugged. "MBI biotech can give her a replacement, even if it'll take a while to grow or build. Of greater concern is Kusano. On Takami's urging, Kusano fled, and used her powers to create that forest as a refuge. Higa's Sekirei retreated for now, but they may make an attempt in earnest to abduct Kusano. And it gets worse."

"Worse?" Akitsu asked. "How can it get worse?"

"Minaka has sent an internal memo to MBI's staff. He's going to reveal Kusano's location…and make her a prize in a 'first come, first served' way," Matsu said. "Of course, that won't be until sunset, and I don't think Higa will wait that long."

"How many Sekirei can Higa muster up?" I asked.

"I don't know, but at least half a dozen. And those are just the ones he personally Winged," Matsu said, pushing her glasses up her nose. "Remember, Uzume had Chiho being used as leverage. I'm sure there are other Ashikabi and their Sekirei that he's having do his bidding. That being said, he will probably only use enough Sekirei to force a way into the park and subdue Kusano."

"He would really do that?" Yukari asked.

"Higa's company suffered due to MBI's monopoly on a good part of the biotech industry in Japan," Kazehana explained. "Higa has an axe to grind because of that. His family lost considerable face and influence, and while they still have money and influence, well…let's just say to call him bitter is to call the ocean wet. I'm guessing the Sekirei Plan is his chance to take down MBI using the Sekirei themselves. Unfortunately, Higa doesn't care how many lives are ruined in the process, as long as it isn't traced back to him."

"Then we'd better scuttle those plans," I muttered. "I propose the following plan. We take as large a squad of Sekirei as we can to where Kusano is. If possible, we ask Mikogami for help: he already has a few Sekirei in his Flock, and we've agreed that, if there's any noteworthy Sekirei, we would cooperated to protect them. And if said Sekirei reacts to either of us, then we'll allow the lucky bloke to Wing them. Anyway, once we take the squad, we rescue Kusano, and, if she ain't reacting to any of us, we take her back here for safekeeping, or maybe Mikogami can shelter her. At least until we can find a way to find her Ashikabi. Savvy?"

"Aye-aye, Captain," Kazehana said with a smirk. "Got a name for this plan?"

"Well, I could go with Operation: Eunuch Cockblock. _Technically_ , it sounds like an oxymoron, but I find it amusing. So, what do you say, Yukari? Up to buckling some swash?"

Yukari chuckled. "Are you kidding? This stuff sounds way more exciting than uni classes."

"All right, but remember, Yukari, we have to be careful. _Technically_ , it's against the rules for Sekirei and their Ashikabi to target other Ashikabi, but I don't think Higa cares if he can get away with it, and if we end up in Davy Jones' Locker, we drag our Sekirei down with us."

Yukari nodded. "Okay, I've got it."

"One other thing, Yukari. I forgot to tell Minato this as well, but each Sekirei has a unique ability, a kind of ultimate attack called a Norito," Kazehana said. "We prime the attack by a kiss, and we retain the ability to keep the attack ready for a period of time after the kiss. How long that is depends on the bond between the Sekirei and Ashikabi. Some Sekirei, such as myself, have two."

"I'm surprised you didn't tell me this sooner, Kazehana," I said. "Seems like an important bit of information to leave out."

"Until now, we haven't been involved in any serious battles. Even Hikari and Hibiki weren't a problem. Speaking of which, maybe we should contact Seo, get his help."

"Are you sure? His twin electric wet dreams nearly fried Musubi," I pointed out.

"Kazehana's right," Homura said. "As misguided and perverted as Seo is, in this case, he'd be a help rather than a hindrance. Anyway, Hibiki and Hikari may enjoy their work a little too much, but they'd certainly draw the line at hurting a small kid like Kusano, even if she's a Sekirei. Well, not unless she was Winged, anyway."

"She shouldn't have been brought into this game in the first place, mate!" I snapped angrily, not at Homura, but at the situation. "None of you should have been!" As the gathered Sekirei looked at me in astonishment, I sighed, before I said, "Your goal in life is to find your Ashikabi, your destined one. If this Sekirei Plan was to help you find that, then why make you fight? The simple answer is that Minaka likes to play God. I don't know why, unless the reason is just that he's a fruitcake, or he loves power, or whatever, but he thinks himself a god. The simple fact of the matter is, he ain't. He's just a twisted man, effectively forcing you into a bloodsport tournament he can watch while having one off the wrist."

"Yeah, TMI, Minato," Yukari said.

"Says the girl who loves all the racy manga, particularly that with the brother-sister stuff," I drawled. "Not to mention groping women with bigger busts than you. Anyway, let's get back to it. We can certainly count on Seo's help, can't we?"

"Yeah," Homura said.

"Good. I'll call Mikogami now…"

* * *

I frowned as I listened to Mikogami. "Wait, are you serious? You actually heard a little girl calling for a big brother when you touched a tree?"

" _Yes. And I also had a weird dream, about a girl in a forest, calling for her big brother_ ," Mikogami said.

"Describe her." And Mikogami described what seemed like Kusano.

I looked over at Matsu, putting my hand on the speaker of my mobile. "Can an Ashikabi dream of a Sekirei they're reacting to?"

"It's possible," Matsu said. "Under certain circumstances, a Sekirei can broadcast to a compatible Ashikabi. It's not public knowledge, either. Mutsu could have told him, but I doubt it."

"He claims he heard what could have been Ku's voice coming from a tree. Is that possible?"

"You haven't told him about her yet, and given her powers, it is possible."

I nodded, before I returned to the call. "Sorry about that. Listen, you might be reacting to a Sekirei that we intend to rescue. Number 108, Kusano. A certain Mr Izumi Higa, Esquire is trying to acquire said girl by force. Have you seen the news of the overgrown area?"

" _Of course. I thought it may have been a Sekirei, but she is un-Winged?_ "

"Yep. If she really is reacting to you, we'll help you rescue the bonny little lass. If not, you can either babysit her until she finds her Ashikabi, or we can. But we'll need reinforcements, as Higa might decide to use as much force as he can to kidnap the poor kid. So, are you in?"

" _If it means one-upping Higa and getting another Sekirei, I'm in!_ "

Still had a bit of a one-track mind, that one. "So, where and when do you want to meet?"

" _I'll come around in my stretch limo_ ," Mikogami said grandly. " _We'll hammer out the details of the plan on the way._ "

Planning a rescue operation of an alien girl with power over plants in a stretch limo? Well, that certainly doesn't happen every day, doesn't it? Then again, I felt something of a bit of nostalgia. It seemed that my little adventure was kicking up a notch…

 **CHAPTER 10 ANNOTATIONS:**

 **So, it's off to rescue Kusano!**

 **Incidentally, for those craving more** ** _Sekirei_** **goodness with first person snarkery, why not try my recently posted new Potterverse crossover,** ** _Flock Off!_** **. Based on (with permission) sakurademonalchemist's** ** _Angry, Angry Wizards_** **, and whitetigerwolf's 'Drunk Recruit' challenge, It has Harry waking up in bed…with the Discipline Squad. He's Winged them while drunk, which means he's the Ashikabi of the Discipline Squad…**

 **Oh, and I've finally got a copy of the manga. It covers the first two originally-published volumes, and I've finished reading past the rescue of Kusano.**

 **EDIT: I changed the Sekirei who attacked Kusano and Takami from Shi to Sai.**

 **Review-answering time!** **duskrider** **: I think Yukari would prefer outfits that show off Homura's** ** _bishounen_** **-ness. Though I can totally see her dressing Homura up (more as a joke) as Kakashi Hatake from** ** _Naruto_** **. I mean, silver-haired bishounen who covers his mouth with a mask? Homura would definitely get flustered when she hands him a copy of** ** _Icha-Icha Paradise_** **to go with the Kakashi outfit, though…**

 **OBSERVER01** **: Tsukiumi is still going to end up with Minato/Jack.**

 **kewllewk** **: It's more apposite than ironic: Jack was always the sort to go where the wind and sea took him when he didn't have goals in mind, I felt. Plus, given Minato/Jack and Kazehana's mutual love of drinking…**

 **Nihatclodra** **: Thank you for your kind words. I wanted to do a Minato who is less like the…well, I hesitate to say wimp, given that he actually tackles Yomi to save Ku, but he's still a wimp in many other regards. And nobody had done a** ** _Sekirei_** **crossover with** ** _Pirates of the Caribbean_** **. I like to try and break new ground where I can. Sometimes that works out, and sometimes it doesn't. I'd like to think that this fic is one of the success stories…**

 **No numbered annotations this time.**


	12. Chapter 11: The Rescue

**CHAPTER 11:**

 **THE RESCUE**

Seo, after a quick phone call, had agreed to meet us there. As it was, it was going to be crowded, even in a stretch limo, but Mikogami, bless his profligate little heart, had it ready. Yukari, myself, and Kazehana were seated with Mikogami, Mutsu, and a Sekirei wielding a hammer that turned out to be Yashima. Homura was seated in the middle with the excitable Musubi, along with a scythe-wielding Sekirei called Yomi, and Akitsu.

Uzume was currently busy helping Chiho move into Maison Izumo, and they had been in transit when Mikogami came around. Miya promised to let Uzume know where we were, in case she wanted to come and help us stick it even further to Higa.

"So, how are we going to do this?" Mikogami asked, looking very excited. Stupid bloody kid, still believing this was a game rather than something in deadly earnest. Even Will wasn't quite THAT naïve: as much as he was loath to cheat, fight dirty, be generally pragmatic (at least when I first met him), he was at least prepared to die while swordfighting, even if he preferred to skewer the other fellow rather than be the shish-kebab. Still, at least Mikogami didn't seem to be pissy about leadership and all that.

"Depends on a few things. I'm hoping we'll pip Higa at the post. If so, I've got the notion that we'll split into two groups," I said. "The larger group will cover our rears while we search for Kusano. The smaller group will be based on we three Ashikabi, along with our main Single Numbers. Mutsu will escort you, Homura will escort Yukari, and Kazehana here will escort yours truly, savvy?"

"Why not Akitsu?" Yukari asked.

"Akitsu's powerful, but her skills are pretty well-suited to defence. Her ice can be used to slow down our pursuers. Between her and the Lightning Twins, they will have the elemental side down pat, while Musubi, Yashima, and Yomi will have the weapons side down," I said. "In addition, we've got Matsu keeping an eye on things. She'll alert us if and when Higa sends out Sekirei."

"Why are the Ashikabi coming? I usually leave my master in safety if there's a possibility of combat," Mutsu said.

"To make sure that we know whether Kusano is reacting to any of us. Odds are, it's Mikogami, but I'd prefer to be sure, savvy? And I think we should Wing her on-site to be sure, assuming she's willing _and_ reacting to one of us. Plus, Higa might attack Mikogami if he's away from the fighting." To my relief, Mutsu accepted this reasoning with a nod.

"If we're lucky, we can get in there and get out before Higa can make his move," Kazehana said. "If Higa attacks while we are leaving with Kusano, then we may need to fight our way out. Therefore, I'd suggest charging our Noritos before we head in: they should be good for long enough to be effective."

"So, how are we going to find Kusano?" Yukari asked.

"Follow your instincts," Kazehana said. "If Kusano is reacting to Mikogami, he will have a sort of instinct to find her. The same goes for the rest of you…or, Minato, did you manage to get the compass?"

I winced, before fishing out the compass. As it happened, I _had_ remembered to take it with me. "Wait, what?" Yukari asked.

"Cool! Is that Captain Jack's compass?" Mikogami demanded excitedly.

"Yes, yes it is," I admitted. "Penelope Jones ain't just a fan, Yukari. She is also a local historian who specialised in the pirates of the Caribbean. She found this for me, said it was meant to come to me."

"So, all that crap you wrote about was real?" Yukari asked incredulously.

"More real than you'd think," I said.

* * *

We soon reached the park, meeting Seo and his Sekirei, to find a bunch of soldiers keeping guard at the gates. We got inside by having our Sekirei carry us over the walls: no need to hurt these poor bastards just doing their jobs if they weren't actually trying to kill us. Plus, with any luck, they could slow down Higa's group, if they made their appearance. Seo wanted to do the direct approach, hating MBI and all, but we decided to overrule him.

We then primed our Sekirei so that they could use their Noritos, and made our way into the forest. Seo opted to come with us as we moved in, leaving the Lightning Twins to work with the defence team. Mikogami got his bearings with the compass, and the seven of us began running deep into that thick tangle of foliage that Kusano had created. As we charged through the forest, Yukari asked, "Are you sure this compass works?"

"It's not pointing due north," Mikogami said. "I normally wouldn't go out into the field like this, but I have to admit, it's pretty exciting!"

"We've just got to get Kusano and get out," I said. "We don't mess about, savvy?"

"Where's the fun in that?" Seo asked.

Homura shot the lazy Ashikabi an unamused look. "You call a girl lost in the woods alone fun? This isn't meant to be fun. It's a rescue mission."

"Geez, Miya's been rubbing off on you, Homura, and not in a good way," Seo groused.

"Homura's got the right idea, mate," I said, as much as I hated to admit with the silver-haired killjoy. We were on a serious errand, after all. "Now, less yapping and more searching, savvy?"

* * *

Thankfully, the compass led us right to where Kusano was. We knew because we could hear her sobbing. "It's beautiful, this place," Yukari said, looking around the grove we had found ourselves in.

"Mikogami, this way," Homura said, looking up a tree. "I've found her."

Mikogami walked over, as did we all, to find a girl with shaggy blonde hair perched in the tree. Something in Mikogami's expression and demeanour changed as he saw the girl crying. I think at last he began to realise the reality of the situation, all from the tears of a little girl. Admittedly, a little girl with superpowers, but certainly something was moved in him. Eventually, he called up, "Hey…Kusano, isn't it?"

Kusano stopped sobbing for long enough to peer down at us from the tree branch she was perched on. She frowned. "Big brother? Is that you?"

"I can be your big brother," Mikogami said quietly. "I think I'm your Ashikabi."

After a moment, Kusano said, "Will you catch me, big brother?"

"Sure." And with that, Kusano, after a moment's hesitation, hopped down. Mikogami was nearly bowled over, but managed it, Mutsu coming over to help keep him on his feet.

Just then, my phone trilled, and the caller ID showed up as Matsu. "Yes?" I asked.

" _Higa's Sekirei have just arrived. Thankfully, it's only a relatively small force, but I suggest you hurry things up._ "

"We found Kusano, Matsu. We'll get the hell out of here."

" _Good. Don't mess about, Captain._ "

It was at that point that Kusano leaned forward, and gently kissed Mikogami on the lips. The ethereal wings of energy appeared once more, and a wind seemed to blow through the area, with more flowers opening up in its wake. Homura looked to me. "Was that Matsu?"

"Yeah. Higa's Sekirei are coming, so we'd better vamoose, savvy?"

* * *

Homura and Kazehana took the lead, with Mutsu bringing up the rear, we humans and Kusano sandwiched between them. I was carrying the young Sekirei because the poor lass was somewhat exhausted, and while one of the Sekirei could have carried her, they needed to be ready for battle.

And I didn't trust Seo to carry her. And with Mikogami a bit of a weakling physically, and my chivalry to Yukari, well…it left yours truly to carry the wee lass. Not that she was particularly heavy.

Anyway, we heard our Sekirei and Higa's clashing long before we saw them. And to my pleasant surprise, our Sekirei were holding their own.

Higa, it seemed, had deployed mostly Sekirei who performed physical attacks, either using hand-to-hand combat, or else weapons. Our Sekirei were somewhat more varied, a mix of elemental and weapons users. Musubi, it seemed, was enjoying herself altogether too much, as was Yomi, who was making that weird noblewoman's laugh as she slashed at her enemies with her scythe. Akitsu was also holding many of them back. However, one of them, who wore a skimpy black outfit and had whip-like strings dangling from her hand, scowled. "Hey, isn't that the target?!" she snapped.

"Already Winged," Kazehana said with a smirk.

She snarled. "You…you've made a fool of my Ashikabi! You will pay for that! I'm gonna take out your eyes like I did that MBI bitch."

My blood ran cold. So did Yukari. We both glared at the Sekirei. "You must be Sai," I said.

"Yeah, what're you gonna make of it?"

"You hurt our mother," Yukari snarled.

"Oh, so you're Takami's brats, huh? Fine by me. I'll take you both out."

Kazehana must have picked up on my mood, because then, she recited, " _Wind of my pledge, blow away the dark clouds that befall my Ashikabi._ " A whirlwind rushed around Kazehana, and we had to get out of the way. I hadn't been around so much powerful wind since that one time Gibbs tried a curry.

One of the other Sekirei with Sai gaped in shock. "Oh no, she's going to use her Norito! RUN!"

" ** _HANA SENPUU!_** " Kazehana yelled, pointing the palm of her hand at Sai and the other Sekirei, the others having retreated. Two of them were caught in a blast of wind, cherry blossom petals scattered in its wake. They were hurled up into the air…and then they came down with a thud.

Immediately, Musubi and Yomi were on them, touching the crests and reciting their own prayer. Sai and her comrade convulsed, and then subsided, their crests fading. Mikogami stared, before looking at Kazehana in awe. "That…was _awesome_ ," he whispered.

"It's like being back in the Discipline Squad," Mutsu remarked. "I haven't seen you go all-out like that since then, Kazehana."

"We'll have to remain here for the time being," Kazehana said with an irritated sigh. "The rules state that when Sekirei are vanquished, the victors have to remain by the bodies until MBI pick them up. Given the presence of the MBI troops outside this area, we shouldn't have to wait long…"

* * *

And we didn't. The MBI troops had been scattered by Higa's Sekirei, but enough remained to pick up Sai and her comrade Shi, and take them away. We were soon free to leave. Seo went his own way, along with his Sekirei, while we piled back into Mikogami's limo (a bit of a squeeze), with Kusano now curled up into the affluent boy's side, sleeping.

And I realised, Mikogami was looking at her with genuine affection. Like she was truly his little sister. The spoilt little midget was actually smiling, not in greed or anything negative, just simple affection. "She must be exhausted," he muttered quietly as he handed me the compass back. "Trying to avoid Higa's scum."

"Now you see?" I asked, my own tone subdued. "This isn't a game. These are people's lives at stake, mate. The Sekirei may not be actually human, but they're people all the same, savvy?"

Mikogami didn't really respond. "Hiding in the woods…no. I won't let anyone hurt her." He looked up, determined. "She's my little sister now. And we will protect her."

"Higa won't take this lying down," Mutsu said, crossing his arms. "We humiliated him by getting Kusano out from under his nose, as well as robbing him of two of his Sekirei. We'll need to keep an eye out for any incursions. You two," he indicated Yukari and I, "you'd do well to keep your Sekirei close when you walk abroad. Sai seemed willing to attack even Ashikabis, despite the rules, and I wouldn't be surprised if Higa would do it if he could get away with it."

"We'll keep an eye out, don't you worry," Kazehana said. "What about you two?"

"I will keep an eye on Mikogami, don't you worry," Mutsu said. "My Ashikabi's family has enough power and influence that Higa will think twice before attacking. It is you two that I would be worried about."

"The _Hannya_ of the North looks after her own," Kazehana said, semi-enigmatically. Mutsu seemed to get the implication, nodding.

"Even so, if I hear anything, I'll let you know," Mikogami said. "You've done me a big favour helping me get Kusano."

"As long as you treat her like a person, I'm fine with that. She may be powerful with that ability, but she's also still a kid," I said. "You saw her, frightened and alone. She'd also doubtless be hungry and thirsty. You're her big brother now, savvy? You ever had a big brother or sister?"

"I'm an only child…but I know what you're saying," Mikogami said solemnly.

"Good," I said. "Keep her safe…"

* * *

We were dropped off at Maison Izumo, and Homura shook his head as Mikogami drove off. "I can't believe that actually happened," the fire-using Sekirei muttered. "I didn't think Mikogami of all people would actually begin to care for Sekirei."

"Some people can change for the better, mate," I said quietly. "He's young. He can learn. I think Kusano being like that affected him, made him realise that Sekirei are people too."

"It's not going to happen with Minaka," Homura said, quiet anger lacing his words. "He's like Mikogami in that he views this purely as a game…one he runs. He intended to set those bastards on Kusano."

"We got there in time, Homura," Kazehana said.

Akitsu nodded. "Kusano is now with her Ashikabi. We have done well," she said softly.

"Yeah!" cheered Musubi, jumping, and making her breasts bounce with her enthusiasm. "Victory!"

 _Well,_ _ **there's**_ _one who won't stop viewing it as a game_ , I thought to myself wryly. But I also knew that by doing this, I had gained more attention from the crazy old sperm donor, as well as Higa. Time would tell whether I had even a chance in hell of foiling them both. Still, I'd faced longer odds than this, and to tell the truth, there was something in me that relished the challenge.

It may not have been a game, it may have been something in deadly earnest…but I was looking forward to foiling Minaka's plans…

 **CHAPTER 11 ANNOTATIONS:**

 **So, Kusano's been rescued and Winged by Mikogami. Don't worry, she'll get a reunion with Shiina.**

 **Next chapter, Tsukiumi!**

 **Review-answering time!** **Have a Little Feith** **: A bit of A and a bit of B. However, she'll probably call him big brother as well.**

 **No numbered annotations this time.**


	13. Chapter 12: Nightmares

**CHAPTER 12:**

 **NIGHTMARES**

The next morning, I woke up suddenly, sitting bolt upright with a gasp. My rest had not been wholly without incident, even with Kazehana and Akitsu cuddling up to me. Indeed, the pair of them were waking up and peering at me blearily. "What's wrong, Minato?" she asked.

"A dream…well, nightmare…except…" I frowned, before looking at Kazehana. "Hey, Kazehana, didn't Matsu say an Ashikabi can dream of a Sekirei who is reacting to them?"

Kazehana nodded. "Why do you ask?"

"I saw a woman, a blonde. She spoke in a rather old-fashioned manner, savvy?" Hell, the diction wouldn't be out of place in a Shakespeare play. "Called me a filthy monkey, and tried to…drown me."

Kazehana frowned in her turn, before she said, "We'd better talk to Matsu about this. If it's who I think it is, you're in trouble…"

* * *

As Matsu began calling up her database, Uzume walked up to us, rubbing her eyes and yawning. "Hey," she said. "Sounds like I missed the excitement yesterday while I was helping Chiho move here. Matsu gave me the edited highlights. Great work, sticking it sideways to Higa."

"You were working for him, weren't you?" Akitsu asked.

Uzume scowled. "Not by choice. Bastard had me over a barrel, holding Chiho's treatment over my head. Frankly, I'm glad that she got healed. Is it true? Did some woman claiming to be Calypso do it?"

"Short version, yes," I said. "What did he have you do?"

"Target rival Sekirei, take them out, act as his enforcer," Uzume said bitterly. "While I would have taken out other Sekirei if they attacked me first, I'm more interested in living with my Ashikabi than participating in this damned tournament. Anyway, what's Matsu doing?"

"I had a dream about a Sekirei last night. Aggressive, called me a monkey, used water. It's possible she is reacting to me, and with that sort of aggression, I'd like to find out a bit more about her first. Know your enemy and all that, savvy?"

"Aye, aye, Captain!" Uzume said, saluting.

"Hey, 'Captain'," Matsu said with a giggle, "is this the Sekirei?"

I turned and looked at the file on the screen. Long blonde hair framing haughty features, a pretty large bust. "Yep. So, any good news, or is it all bad news?"

"Not really. You're probably going to die," Matsu said in a sing-song teasing tone, until Kazehana glared at the perverted hacker.

"Number 09, Tsukiumi," Kazehana muttered as she returned her gaze to the file.

"You told me about her before," I mused. "You said she was a misandrist? And didn't Homura say she's made him her rival?"

"Yes," the wind-user said. "Wow, four Single Numbers reacting to you. That being said, Tsukiumi is more than likely to try and kill you. Any thoughts on how to deal with her?"

"Not at the moment, but I'll think of something," I said. Inwardly, I was wincing. I was no stranger to mercurial women, and no stranger to women wanting me dead. And no stranger to being involved with a woman with power over water, though Tia Dalma isn't quite as _tsundere_ as this one. At least if she wanted you dead, it was because you did something really bad to rouse her ire. And quite frankly, death was not the worst of punishments she could inflict.

Then, a thought occurred to me. "Hang a moment, doesn't Homura know something about her?"

* * *

Homura was, for the time being, still staying at Maison Izumo (there was really only enough room at Yukari's apartment for herself and Musubi, after all), and when I asked him about Tsukiumi, after explaining my predicament, he sighed quietly. "Matsu's probably right in a few regards. Tsukiumi is aggressively against the thought of having an Ashikabi. She's got this notion that being Winged equates to having sex, and she doesn't want to have anyone force themselves upon her, even her destined Ashikabi. I've tried to tell her otherwise, but she doesn't listen. She also thinks I'm her rival…though that means she helped me at times when my powers flared up."

"And yet, she's apparently reacting to me," I mused. "I don't want to have to kill her, nor do I want any other Ashikabi to force themselves on her. I mean, she's not malicious, is she?"

"No. Disdainful and contemptuous towards humans, but not with the same malice that, say, Karasuba has," Homura said. He frowned. "That being said…I think we might have an angle."

"And what's that?"

"She's read your books. She's not a member of Sparrow Watch to my knowledge, so she doesn't know who you are. She doesn't even have a phone. Her speech is not the only old-fashioned thing about her. But she enjoys them. So, if you play your cards right…"

I nodded, only to be interrupted by the trill of the phone. As Miya was out doing some shopping, I went over and picked it up. "Hello?"

" _Hey, big brother!_ " Yukari said, rather too cheerfully. " _You'll never guess who I found today!_ "

My mind went through various possibilities. Eventually, I decided, "You're either talking about Mum, Tia Dalma, or another Sekirei."

" _The last one. Remember how we rescued Ku yesterday? Homura told me about how she was friends with another Sekirei called Shiina. Welp, I've just found him. He's so cute and endearing…anyway, he reacted to me, long story short. So now I have three Sekirei. Anyway, he was wondering where Ku was, so I'm taking him to Mikogami's place to say hello._ "

"Okay, that's good. Just be careful in case Higa takes an interest. We gave him a bit of a bloody nose yesterday, and he may take an unhealthy interest in you. If you need to stay either here or at Mikogami's…"

" _Nah, I can kick their arses_ ," Yukari said, the very picture of confidence.

"Just remember, Yukari, this ain't a game," I said. "Technically, it's against the rules to target Ashikabis, but given that Higa has a major chip on his shoulder about our parents, and that his Sekirei was more than willing to blind if not kill our mother, I want you to be careful, savvy?"

" _That's fine._ " Suddenly, I heard a knock on the door from her end. " _Huh? Who's that?_ "

I felt a chill go down my spine. Was Higa actually targeting my sister now? But then, I heard the door open, and Musubi's voice distantly yelp, in pleasant greeting, " _Oh, hi Karasuba!_ "

And that just made things worse. The Black Sekirei, current head of the Discipline Squad. Voices echoed through my head as I thought of what others said. Like Kazehana, saying, _She is bloodthirsty and psychopathic, to say the least, and she's a skilled swordswoman_. Matsu calling her a Dalek with tits. Miya, with years of bitterness, hatred and fury behind her words, saying, _She is ruthless and detests humanity_.

"Yukari…be careful. Don't piss this woman off, whatever you do," I said, putting every emphasis I could in my tone.

And Yukari got the idea. "… _I won't. I'd better go. I'll call you back when she's gone_ …"

* * *

Thankfully, Yukari called me back shortly thereafter. Apparently Karasuba had come to say hello to Musubi, and discuss their promise, whatever that was. However, Karasuba had learned that I was the writer of the Jack Sparrow novels, and was coming this way to get her books signed.

After telling Homura this (and he was sweating bullets at the thought), I asked, "Do you know anything about this promise?"

Homura shook his head. "I can guess, though. Some time ago, a Sekirei called Kaho was abducted along with Musubi. I don't know the exact details, or even who did it, but they were taken by some foreign power or corporation to try and discern the secrets of the Sekirei. Karasuba, along with another Sekirei called Yume, were dispatched to save them."

"Yume…" I mused, before I remembered. "Kazehana said she died."

"I did," Kazehana said, entering from upstairs. "I know only a little about this, as I had quit the Discipline Squad by this point, but I know this much. Karasuba wiped out most of the personnel at the secret base Kaho and Musubi were taken to, but it was too late for Musubi, who was all but dead. Karasuba and Yume had a major rivalry, as Karasuba, as you know, is a misanthrope who wants to kill everything she meets, while Yume had a more loving disposition. Yume sacrificed herself to somehow resurrect Musubi. I don't know exactly how, though I have my suspicions."

Homura nodded. "Karasuba and Musubi, from what little your mother has told me, Minato, have agreed to battle once Musubi gets strong enough. Musubi treats it as a personal challenge, but Karasuba…she just wants to validate her sick ideology and crush Yume's, and by extension, Musubi's. Yume and Musubi are both great believers in the power of love."

"Maybe. But sometimes greed and malice are stronger powers, mate," I remarked. "And even then, you have to take a…oh, what's the term? A holistic approach."

"Love and passion are what power us, Captain," Kazehana said with a smirk, while Homura rolled his eyes. "Karasuba denies that. That being said, I overheard you saying that she is coming here. We'll have to make sure Matsu's hidden. I know Haihane claimed she would be all right, but I don't trust Karasuba to do it on a whim. She must've chosen to come here while Miya was out…"

* * *

I decided to wait outside for Karasuba, with Kazehana and Akitsu standing nearby, in case things went sour. Miya would not have been impressed if Karasuba set foot in Maison Izumo. I'm guessing that's why she stayed away until now…unless she had been lying about wanting to get books signed.

And then, I saw her, walking down the street, deceptively casually. I have to admit, like all Sekirei women, she was stunningly beautiful. She was dressed in a black uniform with a dangerously short skirt, wearing a grey coat around her shoulders like a cloak or a cape. Her silver hair was long and done up in a ponytail. Her face, while beautiful, definitely had an air of the predator to it, with a lazy smirk playing about her features, her eyes only half-open.

I thought back to those mermaids, like the ones I had faced during that time serving, albeit reluctantly, under Blackbeard. Beautiful, but in an elegant and deadly way, like a well-used and maintained sword. Much like the one she carried with her.

"Well, well, well," she murmured, her voice a low, gentle purr. The comparisons to a predatory cat just kept building up. "A nice little reception committee. I never thought you'd settle for someone else, Kazehana. And what have we here? A Scrapped Number actually Winged. Colour me impressed."

"You know you're not welcome here, Karasuba," Kazehana said, in a tone that sounded as icy as Akitsu's powers.

"Ah, but could you stop me if I really wanted to linger?" Karasuba asked, her smile fooling nobody. "Only Miya could." She fished out a quintet of well-read books. "Sign these, please. No dedication, if you don't mind."

"I didn't know you were a fan," I remarked, signing as Jack Teague without a dedication. "No dedication? Are you selling these on eBay?"

"I don't need the money," Karasuba said. "In truth, I'm not a fan. Oh, they're nice little stories, and I enjoy the fight scenes and the monsters. But I'm not like Haihane."

"So, why are you getting me to sign these, then?" I asked, finishing the signing and holding the five books in my hand, not quite ready to give them back.

"Well, they're not _my_ books," she said, before her arm seemed to flicker. I felt a faint tug, and suddenly, the books were in her hand. Holy _fuck_ me, she was _fast_. "They're _Minaka's_. If it makes you feel any better, I don't appreciate being made to act as an errand boy for your…how did you put it? Sperm donor? I'd prefer a more… _visceral_ task."

"We know what you prefer, Karasuba," Kazehana said with a glare.

"Yes, I know, Kazehana. Oh, by the way, it seems that the Second Phase of the Sekirei Plan is beginning soon. I look forward to seeing how well you do with your interesting little pirate crew, Minato Sahashi. Don't disappoint me." And with that, she turned and walked back up the street.

"…That just happened," I muttered. I just got tricked into signing the sperm donor's books. _Bastard_. Already, I was sure I could hear him cackling up a storm.

Well, it was time to unleash the Kraken…or, what seemed better but was actually worse, an unkillable undead monkey. Jack the Monkey was willing to do pranks. Minaka was going to find out what it meant to mess with Captain Jack Sparrow…

 **CHAPTER 12 ANNOTATIONS:**

 **I was originally going to have this chapter focus on Tsukiumi (the chapter title was even** ** _Tsundere Tsunami Tsukiumi!_** **), but after getting the second omnibus volume of the** ** _Sekirei_** **manga, and having a flick through it, I decided to have Karasuba appear instead. Justifying her appearing at Maison Izumo when Musubi wasn't there took a bit of doing, hence the joke about Minaka's copy of the Jack Sparrow books being signed.** ** **Okay, I forgot he bought Seo's copies off eBay. But hey, maybe he wanted more or something.****

 **Plus, I decided to have Yukari meet Shiina in the background of the story. Don't worry, we'll see Shiina being reunited with Kusano later.**

 **Review-answering time! Please, stop complaining about how I use the word savvy. If you don't like it, don't read. That being said, thanks for the praise regarding Mikogami's character development. There's something about him that begs for him to be developed from a spoiled brat into someone better. He's still going to view the Sekirei Plan as a game, but one fought in deadly earnest, and one where he wants to help his Flock survive.**

 **Lawrence HB** **: Not going to happen.**

 **twisterblake2015,** **blake015** **and** **wweTheBeast2015** **: Miya is NOT going to be part of the harem, but Tsukiumi will join it next chapter.**

 **No numbered annotations this time.**


	14. Chapter 13: Tsundere Tsunami Tsukiumi!

**CHAPTER 13:**

 **TSUNDERE TSUNAMI TSUKIUMI!**

" _IT'S RAPING MY FACE(_ _1)_ _!_ "

Well, the undead monkey named for me by Barbossa wasn't actually raping Minaka's face, but considering the respective positions of pointy bits and orifices as it clung to his skull, that conclusion could be reached erroneously and understandably. Still, such an occurrence was hilarious, to say the least. Even Miya enjoyed it, despite her usual stance on lewd things, so she was watching it, along with Homura, Uzume, and my Flock, as Matsu hacked into security cameras at MBI.

" _Don't worry, sir, we'll get it off you!_ " a security guard yelled, before swatting at Minaka's face with the butt of his rifle. The monkey leapt free in time with a chittering shriek (I'm pretty sure that was undead monkey-lingo for 'GERONIMO!') and scampered off, and Minaka's face, already covered in scratches, gained a broken nose, a split lip, and a massive bruise. Oh, and his glasses were askew. I get the feeling that missing the monkey and messing Minaka's mien (hey, alliteration ahoy!) was wholly deliberate on the part of the guard. I could see my mother on the feed smirking.

" _Yes, Albedo, I want you to have my glorious part-demon lovechild! Allow me to roger you most vigorously. I'll just get the honey and the daikon radish(_ _2)_ ," Minaka slurred, before collapsing to the floor.

"… _Sergeant_ ," my mother said. " _We'll take him down to the infirmary. God knows what diseases that creature had. He will need vaccinations for everything under the sun, including those experimental filovirus vaccines we've been working on for the World Health Organisation(_ _3)_."

" _Do we need those vaccination, ma'am?_ " the guard asked.

My mother merely smirked. " _No, we'll just wash our hands and have a few blood tests. That monkey may have been domesticated, given its dress, but in an animal attack, better to be safe than sorry._ "

"Oh my," Miya tittered as Uzume rolled on the floor, laughing up what seemed like half a lung. "Dr Sahashi is using this as an excuse to turn Minaka into a pincushion. What a vicious woman."

"Not all of us can do a _Hannya_ mask," I remarked. "Some of us mere mortals have to make do with creative revenges, savvy?" She turned at me with that sweet, fake smile and, of course, Old Faithful peeking out from behind her. "Really?" I asked, deadpan. "That can't be your go-to answer for everything."

"Still, he's got a point," Kazehana said. "Remember all those vaccines the scientists stuck us with? Especially all those in the arse? I couldn't sit down for a week."

Miya, after a moment's thought, shrugged, the _Hannya_ going away. "Hmm. Well, to be vulgar for once, Minaka is very much a pain in the rear, so now it is his turn to experience that very thing." She scowled slightly. "He groped me a little while giving me my first vaccine, I'm sure of it."

"They didn't grope me a _little_ ," Akitsu said softly. "I…only want my Ashikabi to do anything like that."

This killed the mood somewhat. The thing was, this whole Sekirei Plan, this tournament, it objectified these beings. Treated them like sex objects, like collectables, like _things_. It didn't help that most Sekirei were cute girls or attractive women. Even the few males I've seen so far, like Homura or Mutsu, were _bishounen_.

But they were people. True, they were aliens, and they had this weird notion of love at first sight, or rather, first kiss. But they were also people, with wants and desires of their own. And here they were, being treated like this.

Now, I'll be the first to admit, I sometimes didn't have much respect for people's lives. I remember when Davy Jones cornered me, and I agreed to his little deal to give him the lives of others in exchange for my freedom. Okay, that was a bit of a delaying tactic so I could get that squid-faced bastard's heart for leverage, but still, they'd be the backup plan. Though it stung somewhat to lie about leaving Will to rot on the _Dutchman_. I mean, it all worked out in the end…but I pretty much left him there.

But over time, I've had a better respect for them. I still tend to put me first, but it doesn't mean I will leave people out to dry if they're innocent.

Given poor Akitsu's melancholy disposition, I made the decision. "Fleet Admiral, if you don't mind, I will be taking this bonny lass for an expedition to have some shore leave, if you catch my drift."

She did, as did my other Sekirei. Akitsu smiled, as did Kazehana. Matsu looked a bit miffed, but as my third Sekirei (well, my second officially, but Akitsu I had retained second, even before I Winged her), she was a little down the old totem pole. Miya said, "Well, as long as you both want to, and you keep it outside this establishment, I won't object. In truth, I hope you make her very happy."

"Aye-aye, Fleet Admiral," I said, snapping off a facetious salute. "In any case, I may have to keep Akitsu by my side more often. If Tsukiumi has issues against me, and tries to attack…well, while I don't deny Kazehana here can beat her, water can get frozen very easily."

"Even so, I'd suggest being careful anyway," Uzume said, recovering from her fit of laughter. "Tsukiumi is a Single Number, after all. I mean, so is Akitsu and Kazehana, but, well, you get what I mean."

I nodded. "I'm treating this seriously, Uzume. I have no intention of dying, savvy?"

* * *

Now, it's pretty interesting to contrast Kazehana with Akitsu. True, it was both their first time, but they were fairly different in the way they approached sex, though I'm sure that this was due to their differing personalities. Kazehana was confident, not dominating, but not submissive. Akitsu, however, was definitely submissive. Even after Tia Dalma fixed her, she was still subdued and quiet, with a submissive air, albeit with some sparks of personality that were mostly absent when she was a Scrapped Number.

That being said, like Kazehana, she wasn't afraid to let me know when things worked, and when they didn't. And there was a mildly perverted streak that the former Scrapped Number had pretty much hidden beneath a quiet demeanour. At least in Akitsu's case, well, you know what they say about the quiet ones…

Anyway, after a tiring but happy session, we checked out of the love hotel, only for us to come across a cat running into us. It allowed Akitsu to pick it up, and the cat purred gently as she petted it. Then, we heard a somewhat unwelcome voice. "Oi, kid! Can you gimme that cat?"

The cat looked at the source of the voice and hissed. Kaoru Seo. Of course he'd be here. "This your cat?" I asked. "Only, given how you needed to mooch food off Miya…"

"What? Oh, no, that's just a cat that went missing from its owners," Seo said. He managed to get the cat away from Akitsu, much to said moggy's irritation. "Trying to get the reward, you know. Three days, it's taken me to track this damned cat down."

"Why d'you need the reward?" I asked. "Didn't Minaka buy your signed copies of my books off eBay?" And now that I came to think about it, why did Karasuba come to sign Minaka's copies?

"Oh? Oh, someone apparently stole the books he bought off eBay from me," Seo said with a shrug. "Anyway, have you seen the amount of food a Sekirei can put away? You're lucky you're staying with Miya."

"Yeah, speaking of, what exactly is she? Besides a Sekirei?"

After a moment, Seo said, "Take it from me, kid, it's not something you want to discuss in public. It's a long story, and one that might get you in trouble. And frankly, I don't wanna get in trouble with Miya, as you well know. Ask her yourself, and be nice about it, and maybe she might tell you."

"Seo!" A pair of familiar forms landed nearby. Hibiki and Hikari, dressed up in those BDSM clothes of theirs.

Seo grinned. "Oh, great! Look, I found the damned moggy, and…"

"Never mind about that! We're in trouble!" Hibiki yelled.

"Avaunt, knave!" yelled a voice from above, and I dodged to the side in time to avoid being knocked to the ground by a newcomer. A very familiar one.

Blonde hair framing a beautiful, if stern, face. A white dress, and a black coat, the hemline ridiculously short, enough to show her panties if she so much as moved, never mind a gentle breeze. And one of the biggest pair of breasts I have seen, though not the biggest. I wasn't sure whether that'd be Akitsu, Musubi, or Kazehana.

It seemed that I had met Tsukiumi sooner than I had thought.

When she looked at me, she seemed to do a double take, flushing heavily. Some sort of mental trigger went off in her brain, and I noticed the very dangerous look she was giving me. Akitsu, knowing what was about to happen, carefully interposed herself between me and Tsukiumi.

So, I said the first thing that came to mind. "Parley!" I said, holding up my hand.

"…Parley? Really?" Seo remarked in disbelief.

Tsukiumi looked at me incredulously, engaging in some inner debate, between an impulse to drown me, and the declaration of parley. Eventually, the latter, incredibly, won out. "Thou hath read the chronicles of the buccaneer Jack Sparrow too?"

"Sweetheart, he wrote them," Seo said. And I winced. Okay, I WAS going to tell Tsukiumi that, but he just cut through the preamble.

"This knave hath written that chronicle?" Tsukiumi asked incredulously, peering at me with understandable scepticism. "But the author is Jack Teague, an English name!"

"It's a _nom de plume_ , a pseudonym, savvy?" I said. "Look, the name's Minato Sahashi. This lass is Akitsu, Number 07."

"Nay, this cannot be!" Tsukiumi snapped. "The last I heard tell, Akitsu was naught but a Scrapped Number, may her adjuster be forever damned to perdition for it!"

"I am no Scrapped Number now," Akitsu said softly.

"…You know, we should be fighting her, but I actually find myself craving popcorn," Hikari said.

"Okay, let's calm down," I said, looking at Tsukiumi. Her face seemed to be set in a perpetual scowl, which was a shame, given that it was a lovely face. "I've been told you have issues about being Winged. Before I ask you anything further, I'll let you know that I will not Wing any Sekirei against their will, including you. Savvy?"

Tsukiumi blinked, as if this hadn't even occurred to her. Then, her eyes narrowed. "Thou art embarking on an expedition into the realms of duplicity(4), monkey!"

"I'm not a monkey, lass, though if you want, I can introduce you to an undead monkey. Anyway, I need to ask, why are you so set on not having an Ashikabi?"

Eventually, Tsukiumi said, "I need no mere human to be strong. My intention is to conquer this game through mine own strength and will. And…by all that is good in the world, what art thou doing?!"

She was looking past me at Seo and his Sekirei. The three were kissing deeply and intimately. "Tsukiumi…he's activating their Norito," I said.

Hibiki and Hikari flung out their hands. " _By the thunderclap of our contract_ ," they chorused, " _pierce the misfortunes of my Ashikabi!_ "

Without thinking, I grabbed both Akitsu and Tsukiumi, leaping to the side as a massive thunderbolt slammed down from the skies. Still, the shockwave from the lightning knocked me silly, and by the time I was anywhere near properly conscious again, Tsukiumi was already mid-tirade. "…but thou do not break the sacred testaments of parley!"

"I ain't a pirate, and neither are you," Seo said, as I struggled to my feet, helped by Akitsu.

Tsukiumi scowled…well, more than she usually did, but just as she was about to unleash an attack, water writhing around her like a living thing, I held up my hand. "Okay, stop. Seo, that was a dick move. And it's worth pointing out at this junction that Tsukiumi is reacting to me, so could you refrain from attacking her until she decides she wants me dead?"

"What? Word on the grapevine is that she'd kill any idiot who she'd react to!" Seo scoffed, understandably sceptical.

"I was trying to talk her down from that. Now, kindly bugger off and get the reward for that cat, before Tsukiumi decides to wash you away and have you lose it. Savvy?"

"…Your funeral, kid. Come on, girls, let's get going. There's no helping some suicidal people…"

As he slouched off, his Sekirei in tow and the cat in arm, Tsukiumi looked at me, conflicted. "Thou tried to save mine person from their Norito. Thou giveth me a choice betwixt being Winged or not. Fie upon thee, this is so vexing!" She peered at Akitsu suspiciously. "And how many Sekirei doth thee hath in thine Flock?"

" _Crew_. I call them my _crew_. And to date, three. Akitsu here, of course, Number 03, Kazehana, and Number 02, Matsu. We're lodging with other Sekirei at Maison Izumo, but the landlady makes the residence neutral ground, and she is more than a little scary. Look, if you join, physical intimacy beyond maybe kisses and hugs is wholly optional. But if you don't want to join, if you don't want to be Winged, then I'll let you go off and do what you want. I won't stop you. Freedom of choice…that's the foundation of a pirate's life, savvy?"

Tsukiumi looked at me, clearly gears turning in her head. After looking between me and Akitsu, she eventually decided, "To my eternal chagrin, I believe that I hath misjudged thee…Minato, was it not? Thine actions in attempting to save me from those blackguards' attack showed that." Her blush was getting stronger, and she was all but beginning to pant. "Thou hast a strong spirit, even if thy language is uncouth and vulgar. Tis vexing, and yet…thou giveth me a choice. I wouldst like to understand thee more." She walked forward, and peered into my eyes. "Know this, Minato Sahashi. I shalt be the sole arbiter of thine demise." With that, she leaned forward, and began kissing me. And once more, I was witness to a spectacular display of wings of light emanating from a Sekirei's back. Then, she broke away, her expression softening. "This, then, be our troth, the beginning of a most holy matrimony, that shalt go on for all eternity."

"…Umm, should we get a priest or something?" I asked.

Tsukiumi pursed her lips, before she shook her head. "This Winging is enough." Her green eyes flickered over to Akitsu. "Know then, Akitsu, that I be our Ashikabi's one true spouse."

"Hey, don't hurt her feelings, okay?" I said. "We're in this together now. Incidentally, how would you like to see a monkey rape Minaka's face?"

Tsukiumi blinked, before her habitual scowl returned. "Art thou trying to corrupt me with foul, licentious images?"

"Well, it's not exactly licentious. It's not really rape. But if you want to see Minaka get taken down a peg or two, we have video."

Tsukiumi debated with herself, before a slight smile came across her features. "Aye…I believe I may indulge…"

 **CHAPTER 13 ANNOTATIONS:**

 **So, there you have it. Minato managed to talk down Tsukiumi (helped somewhat by Seo being an idiot), and has gained her as a Sekirei. Which ought to be interesting…**

 **God, it's hard typing out Tsukiumi's pseudo-Shakespearean babble. Okay, she doesn't do it in the manga, but as I already said she speaks that way in a previous chapter, well…yeah. It's still fun, though.**

 **Review-answering time!** **Tsamoka** **: I'll think about it.**

 **1\. This is something I cribbed from Chapter 68 of** ** _Nobody Dies_** **, a brilliant** ** _Neon Genesis Evangelion_** **fic by Gregg Landsman. I wholeheartedly recommend it. It'll make you laugh, it'll make you cry, though usually more of the former than the latter.**

 **2\. Albedo, of course, is the** ** _yandere_** **demon from the light novel and anime series** ** _Overlord_** **(not to be confused with the game series), which I bloody love. Minaka's non-sequitur was something not unlike the ones I used in my abortive Cthulhu Mythos crossover** ** _Madness, Chaos and Wagtails_** **.**

 **3\. For those without a knowledge of virology, filoviruses are scary. How scary? They include the Ebola viruses and the Marburg viruses. Yeah. That's right.**

 **4\. Given Tsukiumi's flowery language, I thought, instead of having her merely say 'you're lying!' to Minato, I would modify a quote from the oft-maligned** ** _Doctor Who_** **serial** ** _Timelash_** **, something the Borad uses. Instead of saying 'you're lying', he asks, "Another expedition into the realms of duplicity?" The Borad was one of the better elements of that story, by the way.**


End file.
